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Aaron Hernandez considered a career as a detective. He thought he'd excel at solving his own cases!
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Aaron Hernandez considered a career in construction. He thought he'd be excellent at building solid defenses!
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I suggested Aaron Hernandez become a tour guide. He said he's already an expert at leading people through twists and turns!
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Why did Aaron Hernandez become a chef? Because he was great at handling tight ends in the kitchen!
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Aaron Hernandez's favorite game? Monopoly. He loves the idea of acquiring properties and getting out of jail!
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Why did Aaron Hernandez start a gardening business? He wanted to bury his past and plant some new roots!
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I heard Aaron Hernandez opened a bakery. His specialty? Filling turnovers with unexpected twists!
Aaron Hernandez had more legal issues than a lawyer's midlife crisis.
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I heard Aaron Hernandez had more legal issues than a lawyer's midlife crisis. It's like he collected more charges than I collect grocery store receipts. And trust me, that's saying something.
Aaron Hernandez's autobiography would be titled 'From Touchdowns to Lockdowns: A Patriots Tale.'
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If Aaron Hernandez were to write a book, it would be titled From Touchdowns to Lockdowns: A Patriots Tale. I can already see the chapters - 'The Catch,' 'The Conviction,' and 'How to Turn a Touchdown Dance into a Courtroom Shuffle.
Aaron Hernandez, the only player who went from catching passes to catching life sentences.
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You remember Aaron Hernandez, right? Went from catching passes to catching life sentences. Talk about a career trajectory that even a GPS couldn't navigate.
Aaron Hernandez's favorite play was 'The Long Con,' followed by 'The Shortened Sentence.'
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I heard Aaron Hernandez's favorite play was 'The Long Con,' followed closely by 'The Shortened Sentence.' Who knew football strategy could seamlessly translate to criminal strategy?
Aaron Hernandez's legacy: He went from scoring touchdowns to making mugshots his new profile pics.
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Aaron Hernandez's legacy is impressive. He went from scoring touchdowns to making mugshots his new profile pics. Talk about a glow-up... or maybe a lock-up in his case!
Aaron Hernandez: The only guy who thought joining the Patriots was a life sentence.
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Hey, remember Aaron Hernandez? Yeah, the guy who went from the NFL to the big house. Talk about a career transition! I bet he never thought his tight end would become his cellmate.
Aaron Hernandez was the real MVP at playing 'Hide and Seek' with evidence.
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Aaron Hernandez, he was the real MVP at playing 'Hide and Seek.' Not with the opposing team on the field, but with the evidence in the courtroom. I bet his defense attorney deserves a gold medal in that game.
Aaron Hernandez, the only guy who thought the end zone was a one-room cell.
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You know, Aaron Hernandez must've misunderstood the term 'end zone.' Most players dream of getting there on the field, not as a one-room cell where you spend your days contemplating life choices.
Aaron Hernandez proved that you can take the player out of the game, but you can't take the game out of the player's court.
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You know, Aaron Hernandez really redefined the term courtroom drama. Most NFL players just worry about getting flagged on the field, not facing a judge in a murder trial. Talk about a different kind of Hail Mary pass.
Aaron Hernandez had more drama in his life than a soap opera - 'Days of Our Prison Lives.'
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I was thinking, Aaron Hernandez's life had more twists and turns than a soap opera. I can already see it: Days of Our Prison Lives. Tune in next week when he discovers his cellmate stole his favorite toothpaste.
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