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Watching the Aaron Hernandez documentary is like trying to follow a GPS that's constantly recalculating. One minute, he's a football star, the next, he's trying to outsmart the justice system. I can't even get my GPS to lead me to the right Starbucks, and this guy is navigating a criminal empire.
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You know, I always thought the toughest decision for an NFL player was whether to retire early or keep playing. But Aaron Hernandez took decision-making to a whole new level. "Do I catch that touchdown pass, or do I become a suspect in a murder investigation?" Tough call.
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Watching the Aaron Hernandez documentary is like trying to assemble IKEA furniture without the instructions – you think you know what you're doing, but then you end up with a complete mess. And in his case, the mess involved a lot more than just missing screws.
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You ever notice how Aaron Hernandez had more legal troubles than I have unread emails? I mean, my inbox is a disaster, but at least it's not filled with subpoenas. Maybe I should start responding to emails faster, just to be safe.
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The Aaron Hernandez documentary taught me one thing – life is unpredictable. One day, you're scoring touchdowns, and the next, you're trying to dodge prison bars. It's like playing a game of Monopoly where landing on the wrong square sends you directly to jail, without passing go or collecting $200.
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Aaron Hernandez had the kind of career change that makes you question your own choices. I mean, imagine leaving the NFL for a life of crime. That's like quitting your job at Google to become a professional hide-and-seeker. Not the best career move, my friends.
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I was so confused during the Aaron Hernandez series that I started taking notes, thinking it was a documentary on complicated tax returns. I mean, who knew football players had a playbook for life that included a chapter on "How to Handle Murder Charges"?
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You ever notice how the Aaron Hernandez documentary has more twists and turns than my grandma's knitting needles? I mean, I thought I was watching a crime saga, but it turns out it's a plotline worthy of a telenovela. "As the Football Turns.
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Aaron Hernandez went from the end zone to the danger zone real quick. I haven't seen a career change that drastic since my neighbor quit his job as an accountant to pursue his dream of being a professional juggler. Spoiler alert: it didn't work out.
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I was watching that Aaron Hernandez series on Netflix, and I couldn't help but think, "Man, even my microwave has a more straightforward life than this guy." My microwave's biggest dilemma is whether to reheat leftovers or just make popcorn. Hernandez had a few more choices to make, apparently.
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