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Why did the family of chairs go to the movies? They wanted to be in the spotlight!
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Why did the family of brooms go to therapy? They had too many sweeping issues!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
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Why did the father tomato talk to the baby tomato? Because it was ketchup!
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Why did the family of tomatoes turn red? Because they saw the salad dressing!
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Why did the family of fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales!
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Family secrets are like hidden treasures, except they're not worth anything, and once they're out, you wish you could bury them again. 'Remember that time you tried to cut your own hair?' Yeah, thanks for bringing it up at Thanksgiving, Grandma.
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Family, the only group where you pay for love with a side of unsolicited advice. It's like signing up for a lifetime subscription to a magazine you never ordered!
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They say family is like a team. Well, in my family, we've got a coach who thinks he's a referee, a sibling who's the MVP at pressing my buttons, and a parent with a playbook thicker than War and Peace. I'm just trying not to get benched!
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In a family, every decision feels like a democratic process. But really, it's just a bunch of people trying to avoid blame. 'Who left the milk out?' Suddenly, it's a silent reenactment of a crime scene investigation.
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You know you're part of a family when you can't find anything in the fridge because everyone else claims ownership like it's a culinary Game of Thrones. Winter is coming, and it's frozen pizza night!
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Ever notice how family discussions turn into a courtroom drama? 'I present Exhibit A: the empty cereal box left in the pantry.' Suddenly, I'm on trial for breakfast crimes, and my defense attorney is a talking toaster.
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Family gatherings are like a reunion of detectives. 'So, how's your job? Are you dating someone? When are you getting married?' It's like they've got a checklist for life, and I'm just here trying to avoid being the prime suspect in their nosiness investigation.
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Being in a family is like living in a sitcom where the laugh track never stops. You try to tell a serious story, and suddenly everyone is a stand-up comedian. 'Remember that time you tripped over the dog? Classic!' Yeah, hilarious, until I needed knee surgery!
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Family is the only group where you can go from 'I'll never forgive you' to 'Can I borrow 20 bucks?' in the same conversation. It's like emotional whiplash with a side of financial dependency. Ah, the circle of life, and also debt.
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