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I tried using my big nose as a snorkel once. Spoiler alert: It didn't work. Now I'm banned from the community pool, and I have to explain to everyone that I was just trying to save money on buying actual snorkeling gear.
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You know, having a big nose is like having a built-in weather vane on your face. I always know when it's about to rain – my nose gets there first and starts the forecast. I should be on the Weather Channel with this talent.
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Having a big nose is like having a built-in shelf for my glasses. It's convenient until someone asks me to find my own sunglasses and I accidentally poke them in the eye. Sorry, it's not my fault; my nose has a mind of its own.
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You ever notice how people with big noses always look like they're deep in thought? It's not that we're philosophical or anything; it's just that our noses are having a lively debate on whether it's a good time to sneeze or not.
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I've got a big nose, and people often ask me if it runs in my family. Well, it doesn't run; it practically sprints. I've considered putting little sneakers on it just to keep up with its daily marathon.
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Having a big nose is like having a built-in personal space creator. No one stands too close, and I have my own little bubble of comfort. It's the perfect defense mechanism, especially in crowded elevators.
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I recently realized that having a big nose is like having a personal GPS for smelling food. I can navigate my way through a crowded room just by following the scent of pizza. Forget Google Maps; I've got "Nose Navigation" installed.
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My big nose has a talent for finding the most crowded places in the room. It's like it has its own VIP section, and it always drags me right into the middle of the action. Thanks, nose, for being my social coordinator.
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People say a big nose is a sign of character. Well, if that's the case, my nose must have a fascinating autobiography. It's been through a lot – from awkward teenage years to that one time I tried to pick up a dime off the floor.
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