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Remember when staying up late was a badge of honor? Now, it's more like a risky game of "Can I stay awake through this entire movie without falling asleep and drooling on the couch?
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Dating in your 40s is like trying to find a needle in a haystack, but the haystack is filled with people who are looking for their lost glasses. Good luck finding love when everyone's just trying to locate their readers.
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Turning 40 is like upgrading to the deluxe edition of adulthood. Suddenly, you get excited about a new sponge in the kitchen. It's not just a sponge; it's a symbol of your domestic triumph over chaos.
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At 40, I've realized that my idea of a wild night is staying up past 10 PM. Forget the clubs; I've got a rocking chair and a cup of chamomile tea waiting for me at home.
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You know you're officially in your 40s when you bend down to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you can do while you're down there – like maybe organize your regrets or find that motivation you lost in your 30s.
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You know you're getting older when your back goes out more than you do. I've got a bad back; my 20s are jealous of my 40s.
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At 40, you start considering joining a yoga class not for the flexibility but for the 10 minutes of lying down at the end. Savasana is basically nap time for grown-ups.
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You know you're in your 40s when you get excited about a good deal on home appliances. Nothing says "thrilling weekend" like finding a discount on a toaster that has a bagel setting.
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In your 40s, your idea of a big night out is watching a movie with the volume just loud enough to drown out the sound of your own joint cracks. Popcorn and a symphony of creaks – that's my kind of party.
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