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You ever notice how when you order a footlong sandwich, it's always just shy of a true foot? I mean, who's in charge of the measuring tape at the sub shop? They must be using one of those magic rulers from Hogwarts – "Accio extra inch!
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I was at the hardware store the other day, looking for a measuring tape. The options were 12 feet, 16 feet, but no 9 inches! Are they afraid people will measure something and go, "Nah, I was hoping for something a little less than a foot – give me that 9-incher!
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I was looking at a recipe online, and it said, "Cut the vegetables into 9-inch pieces." Really? Are we building a veggie skyscraper here? I felt like a vegetable architect, carefully crafting my own little green city.
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I recently bought a new TV, and they proudly advertised it as 55 inches. But let me tell you, that's diagonal inches! When I measured it horizontally, I swear it was pulling a sneaky "Netflix and chill" move, trying to shrink down to 49 inches. It's like the TV is on a diet I didn't sign up for!
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I recently ordered a pizza online, and they had this size option – 9 inches. I thought, "Wow, that's a small pizza." It arrived, and I kid you not, it was like a pizza for ants! I had to squint to see the pepperoni.
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Have you ever tried to find a ruler that's exactly 9 inches long? It's like searching for the Holy Grail of office supplies. I asked the store clerk, "Do you have a 9-inch ruler?" and they looked at me like I was trying to measure happiness or something.
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I bought a new phone, and they boasted about its massive 6.5-inch screen. I don't know about you, but I remember when phones were small enough to fit in your pocket without requiring a separate seat on the bus. Now it's like, "Hold on, let me just unfold my tablet and take this call.
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I ordered a sandwich from a fancy deli, and they asked, "Do you want it 6 inches or 9 inches?" I said, "Give me the 9 inches – I'm feeling extra hungry." Little did I know, the 9-inch sandwich was more like a subliminal message: "Eat less, save room for dessert.
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You know you're an adult when your excitement level peaks at finding the perfect drawer organizer. I was at the store, and they had one that was exactly 9 inches wide. I thought, "This is it – the organizer of my dreams! Now my socks can live in harmony, side by side, in their 9-inch-wide paradise.
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