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At the Doctor's Office
Awkward medical examinations
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The waiting room at the doctor's office is the only place where everyone is an expert on your health. "Oh, you have a cough? My cousin's friend's sister had a cough once. It turned out to be a rare tropical disease." Thanks, but I think I just have allergies.
In the Job Interview
Navigating tricky interview questions
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Job interviews are the only place where lying and creativity are synonyms. "Tell us about a challenging situation you've faced." I once said, "I successfully parallel parked in a tight spot." That spot was my ego.
At the Gym
Navigating the complicated world of gym equipment
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The treadmill is a cruel invention. You run for miles, but somehow, you're still in the same place. It's like a metaphor for my career – lots of effort, zero progress.
In the Supermarket Checkout Line
Trying to decipher the self-checkout machine
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I pressed the wrong button once, and the machine got all passive-aggressive, like, "Please wait for assistance." I felt like I accidentally swiped left on the self-checkout's Tinder profile.
Dealing with Technology
The constant battle with autocorrect and predictive text
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Autocorrect turns me into a detective. I sent a text that said, "I'll be late," but autocorrect changed it to, "I'll be lute." Now I have to figure out if my phone is hinting at a secret medieval instrument concert.
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