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Hey, everybody! Let's take a trip down memory lane to the good old year 2017. Remember that year? It feels like it was just yesterday, probably because, for some of us, it was. You know, in 2017, people were obsessed with fidget spinners. It was like the entire world collectively decided, "You know what we need? A small, spinning contraption to distract us from the fact that life is confusing." I mean, I get it. Life's a puzzle, and a fidget spinner is the tiny, whirring piece we never knew we needed.
And can we talk about the solar eclipse hysteria? People were buying those special glasses like it was the hottest fashion trend. I felt left out because my glasses were only good for reading, not for staring at the sun. But hey, at least I didn't burn my retinas. Small victories, right?
Remember when we used to debate whether it was pronounced "GIF" or "JIF"? Ah, simpler times. Now, we argue about things that actually matter, like whether pineapple belongs on pizza. But back then, it was a serious linguistic dilemma. It's like we were linguistic scholars, and the dictionary was our battlefield.
So, here's to 2017, the year of fidget spinners, solar eclipses, and pronunciation debates. If that doesn't sound like a wild time, I don't know what does.
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Fashion in 2017 was a unique beast. Remember when ripped jeans were all the rage? I never understood paying extra for jeans that looked like they survived a bear attack. I tried rocking the ripped jeans look, but people just assumed I had an argument with my lawnmower. And let's not forget about those choker necklaces. It was like the '90s made a comeback, but with a slightly tighter grip around our throats. I wore a choker once, and my friends asked if I was auditioning for a role as a punk rock librarian. Fashion is subjective, but I draw the line at accessories that could double as a tourniquet.
Then there were those clear plastic boots. I mean, who thought it was a good idea to turn our feet into museum exhibits? I tried wearing them, and within minutes, my feet were sweating like they were contestants on a cooking show. Fashion tip: if your shoes could also be used as a makeshift greenhouse, maybe reconsider.
So here's to the fashion trends of 2017, where ripped jeans, chokers, and plastic boots ruled the runway. I may not have been a fashion icon, but at least I survived the year without getting my toes sunburned through clear plastic.
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Let's talk about the gym in 2017. Now, I know we all have that one friend who's a fitness fanatic, right? They'd post gym selfies every day, flexing their muscles like they were auditioning for a Marvel movie. Meanwhile, the rest of us were just trying to figure out how to turn on the treadmill without looking like total newbies. In 2017, every gym seemed to have those overly complicated machines that looked like they belonged in a spaceship. I'd hop on, trying to follow the diagram, and end up feeling like I was simultaneously doing the Macarena and participating in a NASA launch. If working out meant deciphering hieroglyphics, I was ready to embrace my couch potato destiny.
And don't even get me started on fitness apps. They promised a toned body and a healthier lifestyle, but most of the time, they just made me feel guilty for not reaching my daily step goal. I'd get a notification like, "You're only 5,000 steps away from your goal!" and I'd think, "Well, I guess I'll just pace around my living room until my Fitbit is satisfied."
So here's to the gym in 2017, where the machines were as confusing as a Rubik's Cube, and the fitness apps were the virtual personal trainers we never asked for.
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You ever notice how technology in 2017 was simultaneously a lifesaver and a troublemaker? I mean, we had smartphones that could unlock with our faces, but they couldn't understand a simple voice command to call mom without causing a small crisis. In 2017, we were all about emojis. I remember when people started using the eggplant emoji, and suddenly grocery shopping became an awkward experience. I'd be in the produce section, trying to pick out vegetables, and all I could think was, "Am I accidentally sending mixed signals to the cashier right now?"
And let's not forget about autocorrect. Autocorrect in 2017 had a mind of its own. You'd type a perfectly innocent message like, "I'll be there in a ducking minute," and suddenly, you're unintentionally cursing at your grandma. Thanks, autocorrect, for turning me into a foul-mouthed poultry enthusiast.
But the real kicker was predictive text. I once tried to type, "Let's meet for coffee," and my phone suggested, "Let's meet for conspiracy." I don't know what kind of coffee shops my phone frequents, but I think I'll stick to my usual spot.
So here's to technology in 2017, the ultimate mix of helpful and hilariously unpredictable. May your emojis be clear, your autocorrect behave, and your predictive text not lead you down any rabbit holes.
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