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Joke Types
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What do you call a factory that makes good products? A satisfactory, just like Dad!
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Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts, just like Dad avoiding scary movies!
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Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one, just like Dad's golf game!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field, just like Dad!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? They woke up. It was a dad taking a nap!
Dad's Tech Support
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My dad decided he's the family tech expert. I asked him to fix my computer, and he said, Have you tried turning it off and on again? Thanks, Dad, that's groundbreaking advice. I was hoping for something more advanced like sacrificing a USB drive to the computer gods.
Dad's Superhero Fantasy
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My dad thinks he's a superhero. He wears a cape around the house and everything. I asked him what his superpower is, and he said, I can nap for 12 hours straight. Move over, Avengers, we've got NapMan in the house.
Dad's Cooking
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My dad claims he's a great chef. He says his specialty is a dish called Kitchen Surprise. You know what's surprising? Surviving the meal. Last time I had it, I found a spice that's still classified by the FDA as a biohazard.
Dad's Driving Skills
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My dad thinks he's the best driver on the planet. He once told me, Son, I've never gotten a ticket. Well, no surprise there. When you drive 10 miles below the speed limit, even the cops are urging you to go faster.
Dad's Jokes
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My dad loves telling jokes, but they're all from the 'dad joke' category. I asked him why he never tells regular jokes. He said, Why fix what's not broken? Well, Dad, your sense of humor might be the only thing that needs a little repair.
Dad's Sports Commentary
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Watching sports with my dad is like attending a live commentary show. He yells at the TV, giving advice to the players. I once asked him if he ever considered becoming a coach. He said, Nah, it's too much pressure. Plus, the coach doesn't get to sit on the couch.
Dad's Fashion Sense
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Dad's fashion sense is something else. He still rocks the high socks with sandals look. I asked him about it, and he said it's the height of comfort. I didn't have the heart to tell him that it's also the height of fashion disasters.
Dad's DIY Projects
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Dad's always into these do-it-yourself projects. Last weekend, he decided to fix the leaky faucet. Now, we have a fountain in the kitchen. Who knew plumbing could double as a water feature?
Dad's Handyman Skills
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My dad fancies himself as a handyman. He once fixed a leak in the roof with duct tape. I asked him if that was a proper solution, and he said, Duct tape can fix anything. Well, Dad, I'm pretty sure the space shuttle didn't have any duct tape on it.
Dad's Wisdom
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You know, my dad thinks he knows everything. He's got advice for everything in life. I asked him for directions once, and he said, Just follow your heart. Now I'm stuck in traffic on the freeway with my heart in the passenger seat, and it's not even a good navigator.
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