4 Jokes For You Wouldn't Get It

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Aug 31 2024

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I was at a party, and I asked someone what they do for a living. Simple question, right? And they respond with, "You wouldn't get it." Excuse me? I just wanted to know if you're an accountant or a lion tamer. How complicated could it be?
I started wondering if there's a manual for these situations. Like, do people go to a secret school to learn how to respond with, "You wouldn't get it"? Is there a "Cryptic Conversations 101" class I missed out on?
Now, I've made it my mission to use this phrase in every conversation. Someone asks how my day was? "You wouldn't get it." What did I have for lunch? "You wouldn't get it." It's become my go-to response for everything. I'm like the Zen master of vague answers.
I'm just waiting for the day I use it at a job interview. "So, why do you want to work here?" "You wouldn't get it." Yeah, I probably wouldn't get the job either.
You ever try to get out of a situation by dropping the bomb, "You wouldn't get it"? It's the ultimate escape plan. Like, imagine you're stuck in a boring meeting at work, and your boss is rambling on about something you have zero interest in. Instead of faking enthusiasm, just hit them with a casual, "You wouldn't get it." Trust me, you'll be out of there in no time.
I started using it with my family too. They ask why I haven't settled down and gotten married yet. "You wouldn't get it." Now they think I'm leading a secret double life as a superhero or something.
I even tried it at the doctor's office. "So, what brings you in today?" "You wouldn't get it." Suddenly, I'm out of there with a clean bill of health. It's like a get-out-of-jail-free card for awkward situations.
But be careful, folks. It's a powerful tool, and with great power comes great responsibility. Use it wisely, or you might find yourself in a situation where even you wouldn't get it.
You know, I was talking to my friend the other day, and he goes, "You wouldn't get it." And I'm like, "Dude, what are you talking about? Wouldn't get what?" It's like he's holding onto this secret knowledge, acting like he's part of some exclusive club.
I'm thinking, what if this phrase, "You wouldn't get it," is the key to unlocking the secrets of the universe? Like, there's a hidden manual for life, and every time I ask a question, people just hit me with, "You wouldn't get it." I'm over here, stuck on level one, and everyone else is on level 99, sipping on wisdom cocktails.
I tried it at Starbucks the other day. I asked for a caramel macchiato, and the barista just looked at me and said, "You wouldn't get it." What do you mean? I just want a coffee, not the Da Vinci Code.
Maybe it's a defense mechanism. Like, whenever someone doesn't want to explain something, they just throw out the ultimate conversation ender: "You wouldn't get it." Well, now I want to get it! It's become my life mission. I'm going around asking people random questions, hoping one day someone spills the beans. And if they say, "You wouldn't get it," I'm like, challenge accepted. Watch me get it!
Have you ever had a friend who uses the phrase "You wouldn't get it" like it's their secret weapon? It's like they're in an exclusive club, and you're not on the list. I feel like there's a secret society of people who communicate solely through vague statements.
I tried using it in everyday situations. My boss asked me why I was late to work, and I said, "You wouldn't get it." Spoiler alert: He didn't accept that as a valid excuse. But imagine if it worked! Like, instead of explaining ourselves, we could just hit people with a, "You wouldn't get it." Relationships would be so much simpler.
I can see it now. Couples arguing, and one person just drops the bomb: "You wouldn't get it." Problem solved. No more fights about leaving the toilet seat up or not taking out the trash. Just a mysterious, "You wouldn't get it," and the argument dissipates like smoke.
I'm thinking of making it a universal thing. Like, instead of shaking hands, we just look each other in the eyes and say, "You wouldn't get it." Instant connection. Or maybe not. I don't know, I haven't fully figured it out yet.

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