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You know, my momma is so wise, she can give Confucius a run for his money. I asked her for advice the other day, and she said, "Life is like a box of chocolates, but your student loans are like a never-ending bag of onions – they just make you cry.
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My momma is the queen of frugality. She recycles everything – I once found my old homework in the refrigerator because she thought it was a draft for the grocery list. She's so frugal that when I asked for a raise in my allowance, she suggested I start a lemonade stand.
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Let me tell you about my momma's tech skills. She's so tech-savvy that when I asked her if she had a Twitter account, she replied, "Why tweet when I can bake you a sweet treat?" She thinks hashtags are something you serve at brunch.
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Yo momma is the most supportive woman you'll ever meet. I told her I wanted to be a stand-up comedian, and she said, "Sweetie, you've been a stand-up comedian since the day you were born – especially when you tried to convince the doctor you were ready to tell jokes straight out of the womb!
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