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The Ghost
Trying to haunt Bruce Willis
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Haunting Bruce Willis is tough. I told him I was a friendly ghost, and he said, "Friendly? I've faced terrorists, aliens, and even Armageddon. You don't stand a ghost of a chance!
The Alien Abductee
Claiming Bruce Willis is an alien impostor
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I tried to expose Bruce Willis as an alien, but he just smirked and said, "If I were an alien, I'd have a better agent!
The Fanatic Fan
Trying to convince Bruce Willis to reprise his iconic roles
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Trying to convince Bruce Willis to do a romantic movie is like trying to get him to wear a tutu – it's just not happening, and it might end in a punch.
The Detective
Investigating a crime scene involving Bruce Willis
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I asked the detective if he found any evidence at Willis' place. He said, "Yeah, a signed poster that read, 'Yippee-ki-yay, property value!'
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