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The sound of a finished load in the washer is the closest thing to a modern-day lullaby. Forget white noise machines; I just need the soothing hum of my washer to drift off into a peaceful slumber.
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I've mastered the art of doing laundry with the precision of a military operation. Step one: gather the troops (dirty clothes). Step two: execute the mission (load the washer). Step three: victory parade (folding clothes while pretending I'm in a parade).
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Laundry day is the only day I truly understand the concept of time travel. I put my clothes in the washer, go grab a snack, and when I come back, it's like I've jumped forward in time to a world where my jeans are slightly less wrinkled.
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I've come to the conclusion that the 'delicate' cycle on washers is just a polite way of saying, "We're going to pamper your clothes like they're royalty." I want that cycle for myself.
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Washers are like magical boxes that eat socks. Seriously, where do they go? Is there a secret sock dimension inside my washing machine? Maybe they're living their best life somewhere with all the missing Tupperware lids.
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Why does the dryer always eat one sock from each pair? Is it trying to make a fashion statement or playing matchmaker for single socks?
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Can we talk about the spin cycle for a moment? My washer goes from serene and calm to a full-on heavy metal concert. I'm half expecting my clothes to come out headbanging when it's done.
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Laundry detergent caps have this mysterious line inside that says, "This is not a cup." Well, thanks for clearing that up, Captain Obvious. Now I'm just pouring detergent like a rebel without a cause.
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You know you're an adult when you get unreasonably excited about a new washer. I mean, I used to get pumped up about video game releases, now it's all about that spin cycle action!
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