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Joke Types
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How do you compliment a walrus? You tell it, 'You're flipper-fect just the way you are!
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Why did the walrus bring a suitcase to dinner? He was ready to hit the roe-d!
Walrus Therapy
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I thought about getting a pet for emotional support, but instead of a dog, I got a walrus. You'd be surprised how therapeutic it is to have a walrus as a therapist. Sure, he doesn't have a psychology degree, but he gives fantastic hugs, and he's a great listener—unless it involves discussing his weight issues.
The Walrus Workout Plan
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I decided to get in shape, and I heard walruses have killer abs. So, I joined a walrus workout class at the zoo. Let me tell you, doing crunches next to a 2,000-pound walrus is a humbling experience. He didn't break a sweat, but I did break my resolve to have a six-pack.
Walrus Wisdom
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They say wisdom comes with age, but I think it comes with hanging out with walruses. I mean, have you ever seen a stressed-out walrus? No! They're just chilling, floating on their backs, showing off their tusks like, I've got life figured out, man. Just go with the flow.
The Walrus Whisperer
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You know you're getting old when you start talking to animals. I recently tried communicating with a walrus at the zoo. Spent an hour there, just chatting away. Turns out, walruses aren't great conversationalists. All I got was a flipper wave and a look that said, Dude, you're not a zookeeper, go away!
Walrus in the Workplace
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I brought my walrus to work because, you know, emotional support. Turns out, not everyone appreciates having a walrus in the office. HR said it was a violation of the dress code. I argued that tusks are technically accessories, but they didn't buy it.
Walrus Walk of Shame
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Ever wake up after a night out and realize you've got a mysterious bruise? I woke up with a walrus-shaped bruise. I don't remember much, but apparently, I tried to challenge a walrus to a dance-off at the aquarium. Let me tell you, walruses have moves, and they don't appreciate competition!
Online Dating Walrus Edition
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I tried online dating, and let me tell you, it's like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Or in my case, a walrus on Tinder. My profile said, Looking for someone who's a great kisser and doesn't mind fishy breath. Surprisingly, no takers.
Walrus Weightlifting
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I decided to join a weightlifting competition, and my secret weapon was training with a walrus. People laughed when I walked in with my blubbery friend, but when he effortlessly lifted more weight than anyone else, jaws dropped. Who needs a personal trainer when you've got a walrus for a workout buddy?
Walrus Karaoke Night
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I took my walrus to karaoke night, thinking he'd be the perfect duet partner. But let me tell you, walruses can't carry a tune. The crowd was cheering, not for us, but for the walrus's attempts at beatboxing. He's got rhythm, just not the kind you'd want in a karaoke bar.
Walrus Wedding Crashers
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I attended a wedding, and they had a 'no plus ones' policy. But I thought, why not bring my walrus as my date? Things were going well until the walrus started eyeing the seafood buffet. Let's just say, the bride wasn't happy when her lobster platter turned into a walrus snack.
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