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Uncle Amon, a notorious puzzle enthusiast in 2017, decided to organize a family Puzzle Palooza. As we gathered in his living room, he proudly presented an enormous jigsaw puzzle featuring a serene mountain landscape. The twist? He accidentally mixed in pieces from a dinosaur puzzle he had done earlier. The room echoed with laughter as we futilely attempted to assemble mountains with T-Rex heads. Uncle Amon, unaware of the mix-up, cheerfully exclaimed, "Nature finds a way, doesn't it?"
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In 2017, Uncle Amon, armed with his brand-new GPS, confidently led our family on a road trip. Little did he know, the GPS had a quirky sense of humor. As we approached a fork in the road, the GPS chimed in, "In 500 feet, turn left or turn spaghetti. Your choice!" Confused glances were exchanged as we tried to decipher the spaghetti metaphor. Uncle Amon, oblivious to the glitch, mused, "I've heard of food for thought, but this is ridiculous."
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One chilly evening in 2017, Uncle Amon decided to embrace his inner fashionista and donned an extraordinarily long scarf. As he regaled us with tales of his scarf's world travels, he stood up to demonstrate a knot he learned in Paris. Unbeknownst to him, the scarf had a mind of its own. With each dramatic hand gesture, it wrapped itself around him like a sentient boa constrictor. Gasps turned to giggles as Uncle Amon, resembling a trendy mummy, exclaimed, "I guess fashion can be a bit constricting!"
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In 2017, Uncle Amon decided to impress us with his linguistic skills by attempting to learn a new language. Armed with a phrasebook, he confidently approached a waiter at a fancy restaurant and ordered what he believed to be a delicacy. The waiter, struggling to suppress a smile, brought him a plate of pickled pig's feet. Uncle Amon, unaware of the mix-up, bravely tasted the dish, declaring, "Ah, the international language of culinary surprises!"
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You know, my Uncle Amon is a character. He's got this thing where he believes he's some sort of modern-day Nostradamus. Last year, in 2017, he made predictions like he was the Oracle from "The Matrix" or something. I mean, who does that? He said, "In 2017, we'll all have flying cars." Yeah, Uncle Amon, I'm still waiting for that Jetsons lifestyle. I don't know about you, but my car is firmly grounded, and I'm stuck in traffic like it's the 20th century.
He also predicted, "By 2017, we'll have robots doing all our chores." I thought, great, finally, I can retire from doing dishes. But no, I'm still elbow-deep in soap suds. If anything, the only robot doing chores in my house is me, yelling at the Roomba to pick up its game.
And then there was the gem, "In 2017, we'll have teleportation devices." Uncle Amon, I could have used that when I was stuck in that traffic jam for two hours! Instead, I'm here with my car, my dishes, and no teleportation device in sight.
It's like Uncle Amon got his predictions from a sci-fi movie marathon. I'm thinking, maybe next year, he'll predict we'll have lightsabers and a Death Star in orbit.
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Uncle Amon has this thing about time travel. He's convinced he's a time traveler stuck in the wrong century. According to him, he was supposed to be a medieval knight. He'd walk around with a plastic sword, wearing a homemade suit of armor. I tried explaining to him that medieval knights didn't have smartphones, but that didn't deter him.
He even went to a Renaissance fair in full knight regalia. People were taking pictures with him, thinking he was part of the entertainment. Little did they know, he was just Uncle Amon on his time-traveling escapade.
I asked him, "If you're a medieval knight, where's your horse?" He pointed to his bicycle and said, "This is my trusty steed, the Prius of the medieval world." Classic Uncle Amon logic.
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My Uncle Amon decided that 2017 was the year he was going to get in shape. He was all about that New Year's resolution. He said, "This year, I'm going to be a lean, mean, fighting machine!" So, he went on this new diet craze. It was all the rage in 2017. It involved eating only green things, like kale and spinach. Uncle Amon was like a human lawnmower. But here's the thing – he hates vegetables.
He'd sit there, staring at his plate, mumbling, "This is not a meal; it's a salad." Yeah, Uncle Amon, that's the point! It's a diet, not a buffet.
And then he'd try to convince us all that he felt great, full of energy. But every time he stood up, he looked like a baby giraffe learning to walk. His legs were wobbling, and we were all just waiting for him to topple over.
By the end of 2017, Uncle Amon was back to his normal self, eating burgers and fries. He said, "You know, that diet was too green for me." No kidding, Uncle Amon. I could have told you that on day one.
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Uncle Amon is not exactly tech-savvy. In 2017, he got his first smartphone. He was so proud of it, like he'd discovered fire or something. One day, he comes to me all frantic, saying he lost his phone. I'm thinking, "Oh great, we're going to spend the day retracing his steps." But no, Uncle Amon had a different approach.
He said, "I'll just call it and listen for the ringtone." I stared at him, waiting for the punchline. But he was serious. He actually thought he could hear the tiny ringtone from the depths of the couch cushions.
So there he was, on his hands and knees, ear to the floor, shouting, "Ring, damn it, ring!" It was like a scene from a bad detective movie. Spoiler alert: the phone was in his pocket the whole time.
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Why did Uncle Amon bring a camera to the 2017 party? He wanted to capture the moment – and post it on 'Insta-funny'!
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Uncle Amon's philosophy in 2017: 'Life is like a bicycle, to keep your balance, you must keep moving – or tell a good joke!
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Uncle Amon tried to become a gardener in 2017, but he couldn't find a way to 'grow' on people!
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I asked Uncle Amon if he knew any jokes about sodium in 2017. He said, 'Na.
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I asked Uncle Amon if he was into fitness in 2017. He said, 'Yeah, fitness whole pizza in my mouth!
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I told Uncle Amon that I had a math problem in 2017. He said, 'Don't worry, I'm 'addicted' to solving problems!
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Uncle Amon tried to time travel to 2017, but he got stuck in a knock-knock loop. Who's there? Amon. Amon who? Amon holdin' onto this joke since 2017!
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Why did Uncle Amon bring a map to the 2017 party? He heard it was going to be a 'directionally' good time!
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Why did Uncle Amon bring a pencil to the 2017 family reunion? He wanted to draw everyone closer!
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Uncle Amon's favorite dance move in 2017? The 'shuffle' – because he can't resist a good deck of cards!
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Why did Uncle Amon bring a ladder to the party in 2017? He wanted to take his humor to the next level!
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Why did Uncle Amon wear a belt to the 2017 comedy show? He wanted to hold his pants up – they were about to 'split' from laughter!
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I asked Uncle Amon if he had a favorite music genre in 2017. He said, 'Yes, it's 'punny' rock – always hits the right note!
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Why did Uncle Amon become a beekeeper in 2017? He wanted to be surrounded by 'buzzworthy' conversations!
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Why did Uncle Amon open a bakery in 2017? He kneaded a new business venture!
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Uncle Amon's resolution in 2017 was to lose weight. He decided to stop weighing himself!
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Uncle Amon's advice in 2017: 'If at first, you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you!
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I asked Uncle Amon if he knew any jokes about construction in 2017. He said, 'I'm still building my collection!
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What did Uncle Amon say when he found out about the stock market in 2017? 'I'd rather invest in dad jokes – they always have a good return on laughter!
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I told Uncle Amon that I bought a boat in 2017. He replied, 'That's great! Now you can sail the seven puns!
Uncle Amon's Technological Struggles
Uncle Amon trying to use technology
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Uncle Amon joined social media last year. His profile picture is so old; he still calls it his "current events.
Uncle Amon's Driving Adventures
Uncle Amon's driving habits
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Uncle Amon loves his GPS. He says it's like having a nagging wife, but one that never admits she's wrong.
Uncle Amon's Failed Diet
Uncle Amon's attempt at a diet
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Uncle Amon's diet plan included eating salads for dinner. His version of a salad is a burger with lettuce, because, you know, balance is key.
Uncle Amon's Gardening Misadventures
Uncle Amon's attempts at gardening
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Uncle Amon's idea of landscaping is placing a garden gnome next to the TV remote. It adds a touch of nature to his living room.
Uncle Amon's Fashion Sense
Uncle Amon's questionable fashion choices
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Uncle Amon bought skinny jeans thinking they would make him look thinner. Now he just looks like a sausage trying to escape its casing.
Uncle Amon's Retro Fashion
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Uncle Amon is stuck in 2017 fashion. He came to the family reunion wearing skinny jeans and a fidget spinner as a belt buckle. I told him it's 2023, and he said, Well, in my time, this was considered cutting-edge. The only thing cutting-edge about it was the fidget spinner, which promptly fell off and hit Grandma in the foot.
Uncle Amon's Time Travel Tips
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You ever notice how Uncle Amon claims he time-traveled back in 2017? I tried his method - apparently, it involves setting your clock back. I did it and ended up missing a meeting, a dentist appointment, and the entire Game of Thrones finale. Thanks, Uncle Amon. I guess winter came and went, and I blinked.
Uncle Amon's Cryptocurrency Confusion
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Uncle Amon tried to invest in cryptocurrency but got confused. He thought blockchain was something you played with in kindergarten. I asked him if he made any profit, and he said, Well, I did gain a lot of virtual cats. They call it 'crypto-kitties.' Real mature, Uncle Amon.
Uncle Amon's Political Prowess
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Uncle Amon claims he time-traveled to 2017 to fix the world's problems. I asked him how that went, and he said, Let's just say I should've invested more in hoverboards and less in politics. So, if you're wondering why 2017 wasn't any better, blame Uncle Amon's misguided priorities.
Uncle Amon's Ancient Wisdom
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Uncle Amon loves sharing his wisdom from 2017. He told me, Back in my day, we had no TikTok or Instagram. We communicated through smoke signals and carrier pigeons. I asked him how he kept up with the Kardashians, and he said, We didn't. We had to imagine what their contour looked like.
Uncle Amon's DIY Time Machine
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Uncle Amon claims he built a time machine in 2017. I asked him how it works, and he said, It's simple. You just need a DeLorean, a flux capacitor, and a subscription to Netflix. I think Uncle Amon's time machine is just binge-watching old movies.
Uncle Amon's Predictions
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So, Uncle Amon is like our family's very own Nostradamus. In 2017, he predicted the future, or so he claims. I asked him for this year's lottery numbers, and he said, Just trust me on Bitcoin. Now, I'm not a millionaire, but I do have a digital wallet full of regret.
Uncle Amon's Social Media Strategy
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Uncle Amon thinks he's a social media influencer. He said, I'm on Facebook, Twitter, and MySpace. Gotta cover all bases. I told him MySpace is like the abandoned amusement park of the internet, and he said, Exactly! Less competition for my top-eight friends.
Uncle Amon's Outdated Tech Support
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I asked Uncle Amon for tech support, and he handed me a printed-out AOL dial-up troubleshooting guide. I said, Uncle, we're not in the '90s anymore. He looked at me dead serious and said, Well, that explains why my MySpace page won't load.
Uncle Amon's Time-Traveling Playlist
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Uncle Amon claims to have a playlist from 2017 that is the epitome of musical perfection. I listened to it, and let me tell you, it's like a mixtape curated by a confused time traveler. It went from Despacito to Gangnam Style to an acoustic cover of Never Gonna Give You Up. I asked him if he had anything newer, and he said, Why would I need that when I have the classics? Classic Rickroll, Uncle Amon.
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You know you're at a family gathering when Uncle Amon starts discussing technology like it's ancient artifacts. "Back in 2017, we thought flip phones were the peak of innovation!
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You know those family dinners where Uncle Amon tries to impress everyone with his 'latest' news? He's like a walking time capsule, sharing headlines from 2017 like they're breaking stories.
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You ever try explaining modern trends to Uncle Amon? It's like speaking a different language. He's stuck in 2017, trying to comprehend TikTok dances and cryptocurrency like it's rocket science.
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Uncle Amon's fashion sense is a blast from the past. I swear, he's stuck in 2017 with his skinny jeans and fidget spinners, thinking they're cutting-edge.
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Uncle Amon's playlist is a throwback to 2017. He's convinced those songs are the epitome of musical genius. Meanwhile, the rest of us are onto the latest hits, leaving him in a time warp.
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It's amusing how Uncle Amon reminisces about 2017 like it was the golden age. "Ah, the good ol' days," he says, sipping his drink, as if avocado toast and fidget spinners were the pinnacle of human achievement.
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It's always a trip down memory lane when Uncle Amon starts with, "In my day, back in 2017..." It's like he's frozen in time, reminiscing about the days when avocado toast and Snapchat filters were all the rage.
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Uncle Amon's technological prowess is... well, let's just say, he's still figuring out emojis. He sends messages like it's Morse code, probably thinking he's being cutting-edge, circa 2017.
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Uncle Amon's social media game is something else. He's the only one I know who's still posting memes from 2017 and tagging everyone like, "LOL, check this out, it's hilarious!
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