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Can we talk about the pressure we feel in the dentist's chair? They're in there probing around like they're hunting for buried treasure. I'm just lying there, trying not to make accidental eye contact, thinking, "Please find the cavity and let's get this over with.
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Why do we always end up brushing our teeth in action movie mode? You know, staring at ourselves in the mirror, foam dripping from the corner of our mouths, imagining we're fending off a plaque invasion. It's like dental hygiene meets Hollywood.
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Flossing is like the neglected middle child of dental care. We all know we should do it, but it's always the first thing to get skipped. It's like the broccoli of oral hygiene - necessary but constantly overlooked.
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Tooth fairy economics is a mystery. I used to get a quarter for a tooth; nowadays, kids are getting a small fortune under their pillows. I'm starting to think I should have negotiated better when I was losing baby teeth.
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Toothpaste flavors have gotten out of hand. I mean, who needs watermelon toothpaste? I want my breath to be minty fresh, not like I just devoured a fruit salad in the name of dental hygiene.
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Have you ever dropped your toothbrush on the floor and had that internal debate? "Do I risk it and use the five-second rule, or do I sacrifice this soldier to the germ gods and get a new one?" The struggle is real, folks.
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I bought a new toothbrush the other day, and it said "soft bristles" on the packaging. Soft bristles? I'm not looking to tickle my teeth; I just want them clean. It's like my molars are getting a bedtime story instead of a proper scrub.
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You ever notice how toothpaste commercials make brushing your teeth look like a spa day for your molars? I mean, I'm over here just trying not to gag on the foam, and they're acting like my incisors are at a five-star resort, sipping on minty cocktails.
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You know you're an adult when you get excited about a new toothbrush. It's like, "Oh yeah, check out these bristles! They're practically NASA-engineered for superior plaque removal. Adulting level unlocked!
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