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Tinder is like a buffet of personalities. You have the mystery meat, the overcooked drama, and of course, the dessert that turns out to be a catfish. I didn't sign up for a culinary adventure; I just wanted a nice dinner date.
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You know you're an adult when the highlight of your day is not getting a promotion at work, but managing to decipher the cryptic hieroglyphics in a series of Tinder messages. I feel like I need a PhD in emojiology just to understand if someone is interested or just really likes pizza.
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I received a message on Tinder that said, "Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at your profile, everyone else disappears." Well, maybe that's because your profile picture is a group photo, and I'm just trying to figure out which one you are!
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Tinder is the only place where you can have a conversation that starts with "Hey" and ends with debating the existence of extraterrestrial life. It's like, how did we go from small talk to discussing the potential existence of aliens? Blame it on the Tinder wormhole.
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I was on Tinder the other day, and someone's bio said, "I enjoy long walks, deep conversations, and staring at my phone for hours." Well, congratulations, you just described the entire human experience in the 21st century.
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Tinder is like a modern version of Minesweeper. You swipe right, and you're not sure if you've just revealed a potential romantic connection or set off an emotional bomb that will explode in your face.
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I love how people on Tinder are so optimistic. You see a profile with just one picture, and they say, "I'm an open book." Yeah, but could you at least give us the table of contents first? I don't want to start reading at chapter 12.
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People on Tinder say they love "adventures." But let's be real, half of those adventures involve trying to figure out whether the person you matched with is actually as interesting as their profile suggests or just really good at Photoshop.
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Tinder has taught me that the phrase "looking for a partner in crime" has a very different meaning for everyone. Some people want to rob banks, and others just want a partner to share the guilt of finishing a whole pizza.
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