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Joke Types
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There are two types of people in the world: those who can gracefully exit a group conversation with a casual "I'll be right back," and then there's me, attempting to subtly slink away but somehow getting caught in a web of awkward eye contact and half-hearted waves.
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You know, there are two types of people during a group photo. There are those who instinctively strike a pose, and then there's me, caught mid-blink, looking like I just stumbled into a surprise party for which I was clearly not prepared.
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There are two types of people in the world: those who meticulously organize their email inboxes into folders and subfolders, and then there's the rest of us, starring in a horror film called "The Unread Messages Massacre.
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Ever notice there are two types of people when it comes to grocery shopping? You've got the meticulous list-makers who navigate the aisles with military precision, and then there's me, wandering around like a lost puppy, trying to remember what I came here for. Spoiler alert: it's always snacks.
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You ever notice there are two types of people in the morning? There are those who embrace the sunrise, go for a run, and have a green smoothie. And then there's the rest of us hitting the snooze button, wondering if coffee can be considered a legitimate breakfast.
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Ever notice there are two types of people when it comes to answering the phone? You've got the ones who greet you with enthusiasm and a warm hello, and then there's me, staring at my ringing phone like it's an alien artifact, contemplating whether voicemail is still a thing.
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You ever notice there are two types of people when it comes to assembling a sandwich? There are those who carefully layer each ingredient with precision, and then there's me, treating it like a game of Jenga where the goal is to stack as much as possible without it toppling over.
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There are two types of people when it comes to assembling IKEA furniture. You've got the engineers who effortlessly put together a bookshelf while simultaneously solving a Rubik's Cube, and then there's me, surrounded by an ocean of tiny screws and confusing pictorial instructions, contemplating a life of minimalism.
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You know, there are two types of people: those who meticulously fold their fitted sheets and create a linen masterpiece, and the rest of us who just stuff them in the closet and hope for the best. I'm proudly part of the latter group. My closet looks like a fitted sheet origami class gone wrong.
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