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I told my friend I could make a theme park out of spaghetti. He didn't believe me until I showed him the pasta-coaster!
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I asked the theme park manager if I could bring my pet snake. He said, 'Sure, as long as it doesn't hiss-terize the visitors!
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Why did the roller coaster bring a pencil to the theme park? It wanted to draw some loops!
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Why did the hot dog stand close down at the amusement park? It couldn't make ends 'meat'!
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Why did the scarecrow become a theme park designer? He was outstanding in his field!
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Why did the clown go to the theme park? He wanted to ride the silly-go-round!
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What did the theme park janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
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I tried the new virtual reality ride at the theme park. It was so realistic; I felt like I was actually accomplishing something. I took off the headset, and here I am, still avoiding my responsibilities.
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Theme parks are the only place where standing in line feels like a competitive sport. You strategize, make alliances with strangers, and by the time you reach the front, you feel like you've won a gold medal in the 100-meter queue dash.
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You know you're getting old when you go to a theme park, and instead of screaming on the rides, you're just praying that your back doesn't give out when you stand up. 'Hold on, Mickey, I need a minute.'
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Theme parks are like emotional roller coasters. One minute you're having the time of your life, and the next, you're stuck in a long line regretting all your life choices. It's like a metaphor for my 30s.
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Why do theme park maps fold like complicated origami? I spent more time trying to unfold that map than I did on the actual rides. By the time I figured it out, I needed a map to find my way out of the map.
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Theme parks are the only place where you pay a small fortune to be scared out of your mind. I went on this haunted house ride, and the scariest part was realizing I paid $15 for a blurry photo of myself screaming.
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Theme park food is a unique experience. It's the only place where you can spend $20 on a hot dog and fries and convince yourself it's a well-balanced meal. 'Yeah, I got my daily dose of mystery meat.'
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I went on a date to a theme park, thinking it would be romantic. Turns out, trying to share cotton candy on a windy day is the ultimate relationship test. If you can survive sticky hands and flying pink sugar, you're meant to be.
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I thought I was in great shape until I tried to fit into one of those theme park ride seats. It's like they designed them for contortionists. I had to suck in so much, I almost became a vacuum cleaner.
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