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Why don't envy and greed get along? Because they both want what the other has!
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Why was the greedy banker a great investor? Because they always wanted to make interest on top of interest!
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Why don't envy and gluttony play cards together? Because they'd always want to deal from the bottom of the deck!
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Why did the greedy person bring a map to the treasure hunt? To find the quickest route to wealth!
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Why did the gluttonous person bring a ladder to the buffet? To reach new heights in their eating habits!
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Why did the glutton start a food blog? To indulge their passion for sharing meals... and seconds... and thirds!
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Why was the lazy person's favorite sin envy? Because they could just covet their neighbor's energy!
The Forgotten Sin
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Do you ever feel bad for the forgotten sin? You know, the eighth sin that never made the cut. It's probably something like 'awkward small talk at parties.' Trust me, I've perfected that one to an art form.
Sinful Solutions
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I've decided to embrace the seven deadly sins and turn them into a lifestyle brand. I’m going to start a fitness program called 'Sloth Yoga.' It's just yoga, but you do it lying down. And instead of saying 'Namaste,' we say 'Nap-maste.' Join the revolution, folks!
Wrath
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Wrath is another sin. They say revenge is a dish best served cold, but I like my revenge like I like my coffee – strong, hot, and with a sprinkle of pettiness. Oh, you stole my lunch from the office fridge? Enjoy your surprise glitter bomb, Karen!
Lust
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Lust is another one of those sins. They say it's dangerous, but I think it's more dangerous for the person trying to lust after me. I mean, have you seen me before my morning coffee? It's like trying to lust after a grumpy, half-awake panda. Not exactly a turn-on.
Greed
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Greed, they say, is the root of all evil. But let's be honest, it's also the root of my online shopping addiction. I’m not greedy; I'm just doing my part to stimulate the economy, one unnecessary purchase at a time.
Pride
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Pride is a sin too, but sometimes you've got to embrace it. I mean, I can't help it if my greatest accomplishment in life is successfully microwaving popcorn without burning a single kernel. Bow down, folks; I am the popcorn whisperer!
The Seven Deadly Sins
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You ever notice how the seven deadly sins sound more like a to-do list for the weekend rather than things to avoid? Like, 'Alright, let's start with some greed on Friday, mix in a little gluttony on Saturday, and wrap it up with some sloth on Sunday. Boom, successful weekend!
Sloth
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Sloth is on the list too. I mean, who doesn't love a good nap? Napping is my favorite sport. I even have a strategy – I call it 'competitive snoozing.' And guess what? I'm a gold medalist!
Envy
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Envy is one of the deadly sins, and I'm like, Who has time for that? I've got my own problems; I don't need to be jealous of someone else's problems. Oh, you got a new car? That's cool. Mine just learned a new trick - it starts without making weird noises!
Gluttony
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Gluttony is that sin where you overindulge, and I'm guilty of that. I have a love-hate relationship with buffets. I love them when I get there, but I hate myself when I leave. It's like, Congratulations, you ate enough for a family of five. Now waddle home, you gluttonous champion!
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