10 Jokes For The Orphan

Observational Jokes

Updated on: Jul 09 2024

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Orphans have the best plot armor in stories. They can face dragons, evil stepmothers, and dark lords, but heaven forbid they face the real-life horror of standardized testing. Now, that's where the line is drawn!
You know, I was thinking about how the word 'orphan' sounds like some fancy coffee blend you'd order at a pretentious café. "I'll have a double shot of the Orphan, please. Hold the sugar, but give me a side of existential dread.
Why do we always romanticize the idea of the orphan finding their long-lost family? I mean, have you ever tried to organize a family reunion? It's like herding cats, except the cats have emotional baggage and unresolved childhood traumas.
You know, they say orphans have a hard knock life, but have you ever tried assembling a bicycle on Christmas Eve? Suddenly, "It's a Hard Knock Life" becomes your theme song, and you're contemplating a career change to professional box-opening.
I've always wondered, in orphanages, do they have a "Bring Your Parent to School Day?" Or is that just rubbing salt on the wound? "Hey Timmy, this is Mr. Jenkins, my role model.
Why do we give orphans such a hard time in board games? Every time someone lands on "Go to Orphanage," it's like the equivalent of stepping on a Lego in the dark. Nobody wins.
You ever notice how orphans in movies have this uncanny ability to build elaborate contraptions or solve mysteries? Meanwhile, I struggle to assemble IKEA furniture without accidentally summoning an ancient demon.
I bet if orphans had a dollar for every time someone said, "It's okay, you're the chosen one," they could probably afford to buy their own fictional kingdom. Meanwhile, I can't even get chosen to be the line leader in kindergarten.
You ever play the game of "Spot the Orphan" in movies? It's like Where's Waldo, but instead of a red-striped shirt, you're looking for a kid with no parental guidance or a sad backstory. Spoiler alert: they're usually the ones with the most character development.
Ever notice how in movies, orphans always end up having these grand adventures or getting adopted by billionaires? In reality, the biggest adventure most of us had as kids was trying to find the end of the tape in a cassette.

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