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My house is so messy that when the maid comes, she asks for hazard pay. I'm like, "You signed up for this, didn't you see the warning signs on the front door?" It's like a crime scene in there, but instead of solving the mystery, she just vacuums.
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I tried to impress the maid once by cleaning up before she arrived. She walked in, looked around, and said, "Did you just move in?" I was going for the responsible homeowner look, but apparently, I missed the mark.
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You know you're an adult when you get excited about cleaning supplies. I saw a new mop at the store, and I thought, "Wow, this could really change my life." I'm basically a cleaning superhero now. But let's be honest, the real hero is the maid who never shows up.
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I tried to do the maid's job once to see how hard it was. After five minutes, I was sweating, exhausted, and questioning all my life choices. I have a newfound respect for her – she's basically a superhero in an apron.
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I thought hiring a maid would make me feel like royalty. Turns out, I'm more like the court jester trying to entertain her with my attempts at tidiness. "Look, I can balance a broom on my nose! No? Okay, back to sweeping.
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I told the maid she could skip my room because it's always clean. She peeked in and said, "Clean or just strategically hidden chaos?" I guess I should've known she has a sixth sense for detecting clutter, even when it's playing hide and seek.
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The maid asked me if I had any specific cleaning preferences. I told her, "Just make it look like no one lives here." She looked around and said, "Challenge accepted." Now, my place is so spotless, it's like a crime against hominess.
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I accidentally spilled some coffee on the floor, and the maid just stared at it. I said, "Aren't you going to clean that up?" She replied, "I thought it was modern art. Abstract coffee stains, very avant-garde." I didn't have the heart to tell her it was just my clumsiness.
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The maid found a sock under the couch and asked, "Do you have a pet snake?" I said, "No, just a lazy sock that likes to go on adventures." Now I'm convinced my socks are secretly plotting against me.
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