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You ever notice how when you call tech support, they put you on hold with that awful elevator music? I'm convinced they play that music to weed out the weak. If you can survive ten minutes of "smooth jazz," you can survive anything. And then there's the automated voice that keeps telling you, "Your call is important to us." Really? Because I've been on hold for 45 minutes, and I'm starting to question your definition of "important." I half-expect the voice to say, "Your call is important to us, but not as important as our lunch break. Please continue to hold."
I'm convinced they're training us for something. Like, the longer you're on hold, the more likely you are to follow orders when they finally pick up. They're preparing us for the zombie apocalypse or something. "Congratulations, you waited an hour for tech support. Now go fight the undead!
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Let's take a moment to appreciate tech support, though. These folks are the unsung heroes of the digital age. They deal with our technologically challenged selves day in and day out. They're like therapists for our gadgets. I imagine their job must be pretty stressful. They probably have a support group for tech support. "Hi, my name is Steve, and today I had to explain to someone that their monitor won't work if it's not plugged in."
But seriously, kudos to tech support. They're the real MVPs. Without them, we'd all be staring at blank screens, banging on keyboards like cavemen trying to make fire. So, here's to you, tech support. May your calls be few, and may your customers be tech-savvy. Cheers!
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You ever try explaining a tech issue to someone in tech support when you have no idea what you're talking about? It's like trying to describe a dream to someone who wasn't there. "So, my computer's doing this thing, and there's this noise, like a 'beep boop' sound. You know?" And then they hit you with all the technical jargon. "Have you checked your RAM? Is the CPU overheating? Is the GPU talking to the motherboard?" I'm sitting there nodding like I know what I'm doing. Inside, I'm thinking, "Is the GPU on speaking terms with the motherboard? Should I arrange a counseling session for my computer?"
It's a language barrier, really. Tech support speaks in code, and I'm over here speaking in emojis and memes. I'm just waiting for the day they ask, "Have you tried fixing it with a cat meme? Works wonders.
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You know, I recently had to call tech support, and I swear, it's like entering a parallel universe. You dial the number, and suddenly you're in this maze of automated messages. It's like, "Press 1 for English, Press 2 for Technical Support, Press 3 if you're having an existential crisis because you've been on hold for too long." And then, finally, you get connected to a real person. But it's never that easy. They always start with the same line, "Hello, thank you for calling tech support. My name is Steve. How can I assist you today?" And I'm sitting there thinking, "Steve, buddy, you sound like you're reading from a script. Are you a robot too?"
I tell them my problem, and they start troubleshooting. "Have you tried turning it off and on again?" Oh, the classic IT wisdom. Of course, I've tried that! I'm not a tech wizard, but I'm not living in the dark ages.
But here's the kicker: they always ask, "Are you sure it's plugged in?" Now, I'm not an electrician, but I can handle a plug. I'm starting to think tech support is just a secret society of people who get their kicks from asking obvious questions.
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