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Tammy's Cat
Tammy's cat has a superiority complex.
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I asked Tammy's cat if it wanted to play, and it looked at me as if I suggested a philosophical debate on the meaning of catnip. Note to self: Tammy's cat takes playtime very, very seriously.
Tammy's GPS
Tammy's GPS has a love-hate relationship with her.
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Tammy's GPS is so sensitive. I missed one turn, and it's all, "Rerouting... recalculating... reconsidering our entire relationship." I didn't realize my GPS had commitment issues.
Tammy's Barber
Tammy's barber is always talking too much during the haircut.
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I'm thinking of starting a support group for Tammy's barber survivors. We'll meet in a soundproof room so we can finally enjoy a peaceful haircut without learning about the Bermuda Triangle's connection to hair gel.
Tammy's Coffee Maker
Tammy's coffee maker only makes coffee when it's in the mood.
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Tammy's coffee maker has trust issues. You start brewing, and halfway through, it's like, "Wait, are you sure you want this? Maybe you'd prefer a nice glass of water." It's the only appliance that gaslights you before 8 a.m.
Tammy's Alarm Clock
Tammy's alarm clock has a vendetta against her snooze button.
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Tammy's alarm clock has this magical ability to make time move slower. You hit the snooze button, and suddenly, it's like you've entered a time warp where one minute feels like an hour. It's the only clock that follows Einstein's theory of relativity.
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