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Have you seen those self-stirring cups? I mean, how lazy have we become? We used to stir our drinks with spoons, now we're outsourcing it to cups. Next, the cup will be asking for a salary raise!
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Watching people eat popsicles is hilarious. Everyone's in this battle against time, trying to finish before the colorful waterfall reaches their hands, clothes, and turns them into a sticky, multi-hued Picasso painting.
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You ever notice how much trust we put into our drinks? We stick a straw in and hope it doesn't betray us by suddenly deciding to perform an Olympic high dive, leaving us with a lap pool instead of a beverage.
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You know what's fascinating? Those twisty lollipops. It's like the candy's playing a game with us. "Here's a treat, but first, let's see how long you can endure the taste of paper.
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Ever notice how we eat candy canes? They start off as this perfect, curved stick of sweetness, and by the time we're done, it's a shiv, ready to stab the roof of our mouths.
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Don't you think it's ironic how we call it "sucker punch"? You'd think a punch would be the sucker, not the one doing the sucking. It's like wordplay designed by someone who's never been in a fight.
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I've realized something about straws. We put them in drinks, but who's the real sucker here? We're sucking so we don't have to lift our cups. The drink's got us on a leash!
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Kids with juice boxes are the ultimate magicians. One moment, the box is full, and the next, it's like they've discovered a secret way to teleport the liquid directly onto their shirts without even taking a sip.
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It's funny how quickly people transform when they eat a lollipop. They go from refined adults to something akin to a detective trying to solve the case of the missing flavor buried within layers of sugar.
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