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Joke Types
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Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing without its usual lettuce substitute!
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Why did the skeleton bring a substitute to the party? Because he wanted to have a body of people!
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Why did the bicycle go to therapy? It needed a brake from its substitute wheels!
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Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn't peeling well, so it needed a substitute!
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Why did the fish bring a substitute to school? Because it wanted to be fintelligent!
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Why did the computer take a substitute to the doctor? It had a bad byte and needed a quick fix!
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My friend asked if I had a substitute for sugar. I said, 'Sure, try splenda-r!
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Why did the scarecrow get a substitute job? Because he was outstanding in his field!
Tech Support Shuffle
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Called tech support for help, and they sent over Jerry, the IT Guy who still thinks a floppy disk is cutting-edge technology. Thanks, Jerry, I'll just reboot my life instead.
Dating App Mix-up
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Thought I was swiping right on someone, but turns out I was just approving a very persistent bot named Chad. At least the bot had more personality.
Substitute Teacher Fiasco
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You know, being a substitute teacher is like being a stand-up comedian. Except, instead of jokes, I've got a classroom full of punchlines. And they’re not always the ones I planned!
Movie Night Alternate
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Went to see a romantic comedy, ended up in a sci-fi thriller. It's like ordering dessert and getting served broccoli. Sure, it's good for me, but where's my sugar rush?
Hair Salon Switcheroo
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Asked for a trim and got a mullet. Thanks, stylist, for bringing the '80s back. I feel like I should be rocking out to some Bon Jovi right now.
DIY Disaster
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Bought a DIY kit for a fancy lamp, got instructions for a birdhouse. I mean, birds need ambiance too, right? Who am I to judge?
Supermarket Swap
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Ever tried buying organic kale and ended up with curly parsley? Yeah, that's the supermarket's version of a substitute. Like, Close enough, right? No, Karen, it's not!
The Gym Substitute
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Signed up for a personal trainer, but got his enthusiastic younger brother instead. Every time I wanted a bench press, he suggested I try cartwheels. Great for flexibility, not so much for my ego.
Pizza Parlor Prank
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Ordered a pepperoni pizza, got one with pineapple. That's not a substitute; that's a life crisis on a plate. Who hurt you, pizzeria?
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