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You ever notice how turning off the lights in your own house turns you into a secret agent? I mean, one minute you're in the living room, next minute you're avoiding furniture like it's a laser security system. Mission: Don't wake up the cat.
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Have you ever been in an elevator with strangers, and for some reason, everyone becomes an expert on the ceiling tiles? It's like a whole new world up there. We're all standing there, analyzing like we're art critics for architecture we know nothing about.
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You know you're an adult when your idea of a wild Friday night is rearranging your furniture. It's like, "Yeah, I'm gonna move this couch from this side of the room to the other side... because I can." Call me the Feng Shui ninja.
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Why is it that the minute you decide to take a nap, the entire neighborhood starts a lawnmower symphony? It's like they have a secret society dedicated to disrupting your midday siesta. I'm just trying to dream here, people!
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Why is it that the snooze button on the alarm clock is the size of a small country, but the off button is microscopic? I'm half-asleep, fumbling around like I'm trying to defuse a bomb, just to make the noise stop.
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There's a special kind of courage it takes to sneeze in a quiet restroom. You're in there, trying to time it with the hand dryer or a flush, like you're participating in some weird bathroom symphony. And if you mistime it? Well, you become the involuntary star of the show.
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You ever notice how grocery carts have a mind of their own? You're strolling through the aisles, and suddenly your cart wants to make a left turn into the pasta section. It's like, "No, cart, we're on a mission for milk, stay focused!
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Why do we press harder on the remote control when we know the batteries are weak? It's like, "Come on, just a little more pressure, and maybe it'll magically work better." Spoiler alert: It doesn't.
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Why is it that the moment you decide to clean your car, it starts raining? I swear, Mother Nature is out there, holding a hose, waiting for you to break out the sponge. It's like she's the ultimate car wash troll.
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