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A stiff neck is nature's way of telling you that sleeping in a fancy hotel bed with a gazillion pillows is just a trap. You think you're treating yourself to luxury, but your neck is like, "Nope, we're doing neck yoga today!
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Stiff necks are the silent ninjas of discomfort. You don't notice them until you try to turn your head, and suddenly you're doing an impression of a robot with rusty joints. Beep boop, ouch!
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I tried one of those memory foam pillows for my stiff neck. Now, I'm not saying it's sentient, but it definitely has opinions. I wake up, and it's like, "We need to talk about your sleeping posture.
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You ever wake up with a stiff neck? It's like my pillow has a secret agenda against me. I go to bed thinking, "Sweet dreams," but my neck wakes up like, "Surprise, it's a roller coaster, baby!
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The only exercise my neck gets is the morning stretch after a night of sleeping funny. It's like my neck is saying, "Ah, yes, time to limber up for another day of holding up this giant bowling ball on your shoulders.
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I tried massaging my stiff neck, and it turns out my hands have the strength of overcooked spaghetti. It's like my neck is mocking me, "Nice try, but you're not getting rid of me that easily.
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You know you're getting old when you wake up with a stiff neck, and you're not even sure if it's from sleeping or just from existing. It's like, "Is this the price of wisdom? Because I'd rather pay in installments.
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Ever notice how a stiff neck turns you into a human owl? You try to look left or right, and suddenly you're auditioning for a part in the Exorcist. "Possessed by a pillow" could be the next blockbuster horror movie.
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Stiff necks should come with warning labels. "Caution: May result in spontaneous head bobbing during important meetings." Imagine trying to explain to your boss, "No, I wasn't nodding off; my neck just thinks it's at a rock concert.
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