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The Starburst Dieter
Trying to resist the temptation of Starburst while on a diet
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You know you're on a serious diet when your cheat day consists of eating the entire pack of Starburst instead of just one or two. I call it the rainbow-colored cheat day because, at least, I'm getting a variety of artificial flavors.
The Starburst Conspiracy Theorist
Believing there's more to Starburst than meets the eye
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I saw a documentary that claimed Starburst was actually developed by aliens as a way to study human taste preferences. It makes sense. No human could come up with something that delicious. It's out of this world, literally.
The Skeptical Starburst Consumer
Doubtful about the flavors and suspecting a conspiracy
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My friend told me they're coming out with a new mystery flavor of Starburst. Mystery flavor? Isn't that just code for "we found some random batches in the factory, and we're not exactly sure what they are"?
The Overly Enthusiastic Starburst Fanatic
Obsessive love for starburst leading to awkward situations
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I walked into his apartment, and it looked like Willy Wonka's Starburst factory exploded. I asked him if he was hosting a candy-themed party. He said, "No, this is just how I live." I didn't have the heart to tell him that Starburst doesn't count as interior decoration.
The Starburst Strategist
Developing intricate plans for maximizing Starburst enjoyment
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I organized a Starburst tasting party. It's like a wine tasting, but with more chewiness and less sophistication. We had flavor notes and everything. My friends thought I was weird until they tried the strawberry-basil-infused Starburst. Now they think I'm a genius.
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