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Why did the sailor bring a pencil to the helm? Because he wanted to make sure his course was always starboard – write on target!
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Why did the sailor take a nap on the right side of the ship? Because he wanted to catch some starboard ZZZs!
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Why did the pirate bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house, and he wanted to climb up to the starboard!
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Why did the compass break up with the map? It couldn't find true north, and the map kept going starboard!
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Why did the sailor bring a ladder to the party? Because he heard the drinks were on the starboard, and he wanted to climb aboard!
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I tried to tell a port-side joke, but it didn't have the same appeal. I guess you could say it wasn't as starboard-stopping!
Starboard and the Mystery of Lost Socks
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I discovered the Starboard in my laundry room. Turns out, it's been conspiring with my washing machine to steal all my left socks. I guess even in the world of laundry, the right side always prevails!
Navigating Relationships, or My Marriage According to the Starboard
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You know, my wife insists that our relationship is like a ship sailing smoothly through life. I tried to tell her it's more like the starboard side - constantly leaning to one direction and everyone on board praying we don't hit an iceberg!
Starboard, the Real MVP of IKEA Furniture
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You know you've hit rock bottom when you start asking for relationship advice from your IKEA furniture. My bookshelf, which I call Starboard, has seen it all. It's probably thinking, If this guy can't assemble a bookshelf without arguments, what hope does he have in a real relationship?
Starboard and the Dreaded GPS Voice
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I recently installed a GPS with the voice set to Starboard. Now, instead of soothing directions, I get commands like, In 500 feet, make a hard right, or face the consequences! I didn't know I signed up for a relationship with my GPS!
Starboard and the World of Social Media
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I tried to impress my friends by using 'starboard' in a social media post. Now they all think I'm a sailor, or worse, that I'm dating a pirate. Either way, I'm stuck in a sea of misinformation!
Starboard and the Wisdom Tooth Conspiracy
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I recently had a wisdom tooth removed, and the dentist told me to favor the starboard side while eating. I thought, Great, even my dentist is taking sides! Is my left side not wise enough for chewing now?
Starboard and the Great Battle of the TV Remote
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There's an ongoing war in my house over the TV remote. It's like a game of tug-of-war, with my wife on one side, me on the other, and Starboard acting as the referee, leaning ever so slightly towards her. I suspect foul play!
Starboard and the Gym Dilemma
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I signed up for a gym class called 'Starboard Spin.' Little did I know, it's not a workout class but a support group for people trying to find balance in their lives. The only thing spinning is my head, wondering how I ended up in this fitness therapy session!
Starboard and the Battle of the Thermostat
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My thermostat must be a Starboard sympathizer. No matter how many times I set it to a comfortable temperature, it always leans a little to the colder side. I'm starting to suspect it's conspiring with my wife to turn me into a human icicle!
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