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Why did the spouse go to school? To improve their relationship skills and graduate from love university!
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Why did the spouse wear sunglasses? To keep an eye on their partner without them noticing!
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Why did the spouse bring a ladder to the bar? Because they heard the drinks were on the house!
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Why did the spouse bring a broom to bed? To sweep each other off their feet!
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Why did the scarecrow become a great spouse? It was outstanding in its field!
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Why did the spouse become a chef? Because they wanted to spice up their marriage!
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Why did the spouse refuse to play hide and seek? They knew good relationships always need transparency!
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Why did the spouse become a gardener? Because they wanted to make the relationship bloom!
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Why did the spouse bring a calendar to the romantic dinner? To schedule some sweet moments!
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You know you're married when you start using words like 'we' and 'us' instead of 'I' and 'me.' Like, 'We forgot to take out the trash,' or 'Us left the toilet seat up again.' It's a grammatical union, really.
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I told my spouse I wanted to spice things up in the bedroom. So, we bought a new bedspread. Now our bed looks like it's auditioning for a home decor magazine instead of a romantic comedy.
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I tried to impress my spouse by cooking a fancy dinner. Let's just say the smoke alarm was more impressed than they were. I think they secretly ordered takeout afterward.
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My spouse says I have selective hearing. I prefer to call it 'strategic ignoring.' It's a survival skill, really. Like, did you know you can smile and nod even when you're not listening? It's a marriage superpower.
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I asked my spouse what they wanted for our anniversary. They said, 'Surprise me.' So, I hired a mariachi band to follow them around for a day. Now that's what I call a surprise!
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I asked my spouse if they believe in love at first sight. They said, 'No, but I believe in love at first Netflix show.' That's the modern-day romance we signed up for, folks.
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Marriage is like a rollercoaster, but instead of the thrilling ups and downs, it's more like deciding who gets the last slice of pizza. Hint: It's never me.
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My spouse thinks I don't listen to them. Well, I proved them wrong yesterday when I remembered the name of their favorite childhood imaginary friend. It's 'Mr. I'm-Still-Upset-You-Didn't-Take-Out-The-Trash.'
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Marriage is all about compromise. For instance, I compromise on what movie to watch, where to eat, and what color to paint the living room. Meanwhile, my spouse compromises by letting me think I have a say in any of those decisions. It's a delicate dance, really.
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