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Why did the chicken cross the road? To outrun the radar gun and avoid a cluck-up with the law!
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Why did the computer go to traffic school? It wanted to clean up its cache of speeding tickets!
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Why don't speeders ever win at hide and seek? Because even in a game, they can't resist going too fast and getting caught!
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Why did the snail get a speeding ticket? It left a trail of slime that was over the speed limit!
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Why did the tomato turn red when it got pulled over? It saw the salad dressing and knew it was about to get tossed in a fine!
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Why did the bicycle get a speeding ticket? It was two-tired to stop at the red light!
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Speeding tickets are like surprise parties from the government. 'Congratulations! You were having too much fun!'
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I got a speeding ticket the other day. I told the officer, 'I was just trying to outrun my responsibilities, officer. Turns out, responsibilities come with a faster car.'
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I got a speeding ticket in a school zone. I told the officer, 'I was just trying to show those kids the importance of a quick getaway in life.' He wasn't impressed.
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I got a speeding ticket, and the officer asked, 'Do you know why I pulled you over?' I said, 'Because my car doesn't come with autopilot yet?'
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You know you're getting older when the flashing lights behind you are from a police car, not a nightclub. 'Hey officer, is there a two-drink minimum for this citation?'
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I got a speeding ticket and tried playing the sympathy card with the officer. I said, 'Officer, I'm not speeding; I'm just helping the economy by investing in the local radar gun industry.'
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Speeding tickets should come with a 'Most Creative Excuse' award. 'Officer, I was just testing the aerodynamics of my car. It's all in the name of science.'
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Getting a speeding ticket is the adult equivalent of being sent to timeout. Except, instead of sitting in a corner, you're sitting in traffic school, wondering where your life went wrong.
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I tried telling the cop that my car is just really enthusiastic about reaching its destination. He didn't buy it. Apparently, my car needs to chill with the enthusiasm and stick to speed limits.
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