17 Jokes For Spanked

Puns

Updated on: Feb 13 2025

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Why did the spanking enthusiast become a gardener? Because they wanted to cultivate a good 'bottom' line!
Why did the chef get in trouble? He kept 'spanking' the eggs for misbehaving in the frying pan!
Why did the chair go to therapy? It had issues with being 'spanked' too much and needed some support!
Why did the computer apply for a job at the bakery? It wanted to be a 'spanking' new processor!
Why did the pillow break up with the blanket? It got tired of being 'spanked' every night!
Why did the car get a spanking? It couldn't 'brake' the bad habit of making squeaky sounds!
Why did the belt apply for a job? It wanted to get a 'grip' on its career and tighten things up!

The Spankometer

Why is it that people think spanking is the solution to every problem? Can you imagine going to a job interview, and instead of asking about your skills, they just give you a good spank and say, You're hired! It's the corporate world's version of tough love.

Spanking and Self-Improvement

I heard someone say that being spanked is a form of discipline. I guess I've been doing it wrong all these years—I thought discipline was just avoiding eye contact with the dessert menu. Turns out, it's more hands-on than I realized!

Spanking: The Original Twerking

You know twerking is just a modern, socially acceptable form of spanking. Back in the day, they'd call it inappropriate; now, it's a dance move. Imagine telling your grandparents, Yeah, I went to a twerking class today. They'd probably ask for a translation.

The Spanked Chronicles

You ever notice how the word spanked sounds like the title of a dramatic novel? Like, Chapter 1: The Misadventures of a Naughty Bottom. I mean, if my life were a book, it would probably be a pop-up book with a hand slapping sound effect.

The Spanking Olympics

If spanking were an Olympic sport, I'd have a gold medal in the 100-meter dash to escape my mom's wrath. Those childhood sprint workouts really paid off.

Spanked by Social Media

Nowadays, getting spanked is like a tweet that never gets retweeted—it's embarrassing and feels like a public shaming. I can't wait for the day when we have an app to rate our spankings. Five stars for effort, Mom!

Spanking in the Age of Participation Trophies

Back in my day, we didn't get participation trophies; we got spanked. And you know what? I turned out just fine... as long as no one mentions participation trophies.

The Spanking Diet

They say laughter is the best medicine, but have you tried a good spanking? It's an instant workout for your abs and your pride. Forget about fancy diets; just have someone follow you around with a wooden spoon.

Spanked by Technology

I was so bad with technology that my computer threatened to spank me if I didn't update it. Like, what's next? Your phone saying, Unlock me, or I'll give you a virtual spanking! I miss the days when computers just froze and didn't judge your life choices.

The Spank of Approval

You know you're an adult when getting spanked changes from a punishment to a weirdly comforting gesture. Like, thanks, Mom, for letting me know I screwed up. Can we get a stamp card for this? Tenth spanking is free!

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