17 Someone Named Kevin Jokes

Puns

Updated on: Feb 15 2025

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Why did Kevin take a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the top shelf!
Why did Kevin bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
I told Kevin he should be a baker. He asked, 'Why?' I said, 'Because you're good at rolling with it!
Why did Kevin bring a ladder to the barbershop? He heard they had high and tight haircuts!
Why did Kevin become a gardener? Because he wanted to 'grow' on people!
Why did Kevin become a gardener? Because he has a blooming great personality!
What's Kevin's favorite type of music? Heavy metal – he always carries spare change!

Kevin, the DIY Philosopher

Kevin fancies himself as a DIY philosopher. He'll hit you with profound statements like, If a tree falls in a forest and no one's around to hear it, does it make a sound? Kevin, if I drop my sandwich and no one's around to witness it, does it make me hungry?

Kevin, the Time Traveler

I'm convinced Kevin is a time traveler. Seriously, have you ever noticed how he always seems to know what's going to happen next? It's like he's got the script for life, and the rest of us are just ad-libbing. Oh, you're about to spill your coffee. Trust me, I've been here before.

Kevin, the Human GPS

Kevin thinks he's a human GPS. You can be driving with him, and he's like, In 300 feet, turn left. Kevin, we're in a parking lot. Trust me, take the left, and you'll find a shortcut through Narnia.

Kevin, the Social Media Guru

Kevin claims he's a social media guru. I asked him for Instagram advice, and he said, Post like nobody's watching. Kevin, if nobody's watching, why am I even posting? Are my selfies going straight into the void of the internet? Kevin, you're giving me an existential crisis!

Kevin, the Master of One-Liners

Kevin's got this talent for dropping one-liners that leave you questioning your entire existence. I asked him how his day was, and he goes, Life is like a burrito – messy, but oh-so-delicious. What does that even mean, Kevin? I'm just trying to order lunch.

Kevin, the Emoji Translator

I swear, talking to Kevin is like deciphering hieroglyphics. He communicates through emojis like it's a secret language. I asked him if he wanted pizza, and he responds with a rocket ship, a dancing lady, and a thumbs up. Kevin, are we going to the moon for pizza?

Kevin, the Silent Ninja

I have this friend named Kevin who's so quiet, I'm convinced he's a ninja. You'll be in the middle of a conversation, and suddenly Kevin appears out of nowhere, dropping some profound wisdom. I'm starting to think he trained with the stealthiest gurus in the mountains. Hey, Kevin, didn't see you there! That's the idea, my friend.

Kevin, the Emotional Weatherman

Kevin's emotions are like a weather forecast – unpredictable and subject to sudden storms. Today's forecast: a 60% chance of joy, followed by a sudden downpour of existential dread.

Kevin, the Mystery Man

Have you ever met someone named Kevin? I swear, Kevin is like the international man of mystery. You ask him a simple question, and he responds with the cryptic clues, like he's the Riddler from Batman. Kevin, what's the time? Ah, my friend, time is but a construct, an illusion woven into the fabric of our existence. Dude, I just wanted to know if I'm late for my dentist appointment!

Kevin, the Conspiracy Theorist

I asked Kevin about his weekend plans, and suddenly I'm knee-deep in conspiracy theories. You know, the government is hiding the real purpose of toothpaste from us. I'm onto them. Dude, I just wanted to know if you were free for brunch!

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