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Snoop Dogg probably has a secret stash of herbal tea that's so relaxing; it makes chamomile look like an energy drink. I imagine him sipping it, saying, "This is the real green magic, right here.
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Snoop Dogg's laughter is contagious. It's like a musical instrument you never knew you needed in your life. If he started a laughter yoga class, the world would be a much more relaxed place. "Inhale the chill, exhale the stress, and don't forget to drop it like it's hot while you're at it.
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Snoop Dogg is the only person who can make you feel inadequate about your own chill level. I tried to be cool once, and Snoop looked at me like I just asked him to solve a Rubik's Cube blindfolded while riding a unicycle.
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I bet Snoop Dogg's refrigerator is the chillest place on Earth. Open it up, and instead of light, a cool breeze and some smooth jazz start playing. "Welcome to the cool side, my friend.
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You ever notice how Snoop Dogg's voice is so smooth and calming? I mean, he could narrate a horror movie, and I'd still feel like I'm floating on a cloud of chill. "And then, the ghost said, 'Fo shizzle, my nizzle.'
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Snoop Dogg is like a musical time traveler. He's been in the rap game for so long that when he started, we were all listening to music on devices that required a backpack to carry. Now he's on Instagram, probably trying to figure out how to send smoke signals through emojis.
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Snoop Dogg's GPS voice would be legendary. "Turn left, cuz, and if you miss the exit, no stress, just take the next one and roll with it. Life's a highway, and we're just cruisin', ya dig?
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You know you've made it when Snoop Dogg starts following you on social media. It's like the modern-day version of being anointed by the coolest wizard in the land. "Congratulations, my friend, you are now officially chill-worthy.
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Snoop Dogg is so laid-back; I bet if you put him in a room full of sloths, they'd be like, "Dude, you need to chill out a bit." And Snoop would just nod and pass them the slowest joint ever.
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