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Why do skydivers never take things for granted? Because they always count their blessings on the way down!
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What did the skydiving tomato say to the skeptical cucumber? 'Don't be such a vegetable, take a leap of faith!
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Why did the skydiver bring a pencil? In case he wanted to draw his own conclusion!
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Why did the tomato turn red during the skydiving lesson? Because it saw the salad dressing!
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Why did the skydiver bring a ladder? To go to great heights in his career!
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Skydiving is the only situation where screaming is a socially acceptable form of communication. I mean, try screaming in the grocery store and see how that goes.
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Skydiving is like a box of chocolates. It's expensive, it gets your heart racing, and if you're not careful, it might just leave you with a mess to clean up.
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Skydiving is like a relationship. You're excited at first, the adrenaline is pumping, and then suddenly you realize you're plummeting towards the ground with no control, and you're just hoping it ends with a soft landing.
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Skydiving is the only sport where the goal is to miss the ground. I mean, in what other situation is that considered a win? 'Hey, did you hear about Dave?' 'Yeah, he missed the ground again!'
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Skydiving - Because nothing says 'I trust this parachute more than I trust my life choices' like jumping out of a perfectly good airplane!
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I went skydiving with a friend who was afraid of heights. I said, 'Don't worry, it's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden deceleration at the end.' Needless to say, he wasn't comforted.
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I tried skydiving once. The instructor said, 'Don't worry, the parachute has never failed.' I thought, 'Well, neither had my toaster until this morning.'
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Skydiving is the ultimate trust fall. Except instead of falling backward, you're plummeting face-first towards the Earth, and your trust fall partner is a piece of fabric you packed yourself.
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I asked the instructor if I could have a refund after my skydiving experience. He said, 'Sorry, our return policy has a no-grounding clause.'
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