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Skinny guys have it easy during zombie apocalypses. They can just squeeze through the gaps in the fence, leaving the rest of us to fend off the undead like we're auditioning for a role in The Walking Bread.
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Skinny guys, you guys are like human coat hangers. I envy you. When I wear a tight shirt, I look like I'm smuggling a baguette, but you guys could wear a trash bag and still look like you just stepped off a runway.
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Skinny guys, you're the real-life optical illusion. I mean, I see you, and I'm like, "Is that guy there, or did I accidentally turn on the invisibility cloak from Harry Potter?
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Ever notice how skinny guys always seem to be effortlessly gliding down escalators? It's like they're on a perpetual runway, and the rest of us are struggling not to trip over our own feet.
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Skinny guys, you're the only people I know who can lose a game of hide-and-seek in an open field. It's like, "Dude, I can see you behind that dandelion. Nice try, Houdini.
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Skinny guys, I bet your laundry day is like a constant struggle with the wind. Hang your clothes out to dry, and they end up in the neighbor's yard before you can say, "fabric softener.
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Skinny guys are like walking barometers. When it's windy, I just look for the nearest skinny guy. If he's still standing, I grab my umbrella. If he's gone, I assume a tornado is on the way.
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You ever notice how skinny guys have this uncanny ability to slip through crowds like eels? I tried following one once, and it was like trying to keep up with a gust of wind on a diet!
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You know you're skinny when you go to the beach, and people mistake you for one of those elegant sandpipers gracefully strolling along the shoreline. "Oh, look at that majestic beach creature!
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