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Joke Types
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Why did the simp get kicked out of the art gallery? He was caught trying to frame someone for stealing his crush!
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Why did the simp bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
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Why did the simp take a cooking class? He heard it's the best way to 'spice' up a relationship!
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What's a simp's favorite dance move? The cha-cha-cha...nge for you, my love!
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Why did the simp become a gardener? He wanted to nurture a relationship from the ground up!
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Why did the simp bring a map to the party? He wanted to find his way to your heart!
Simping Spelling Bee
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I participated in a Simping Spelling Bee the other day. The word was independent, and the contestant spelled it, I-N-D-E-B-T. Close enough, buddy. Close enough.
Simp Olympics
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I heard they're introducing a new event in the Simp Olympics – the 100-Meter Text Sprint. The goal is to reply faster than the speed of light to your crush. Spoiler alert: Nobody wins.
Simping Superpowers
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I think I have a new superpower – I can detect a simp from a mile away. It's like spidey-sense, but instead of danger, it tingles when someone's about to spend their entire paycheck on someone who won't even remember their name.
Simping and GPS
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I wish GPS had a Simp Mode – instead of directions, it just says, Recalculating: Turn back now, she's not into you. It could save a lot of time and emotional baggage.
Simping and the Stock Market
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You know the economy is in trouble when the stock market is more stable than a guy trying not to simp. The only thing rising faster than GameStop stocks is the desperation in some people's DMs.
Simp Therapy
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I heard there's therapy for simps now. It's called Pay-py Counseling. You lie on a virtual couch, pour out your heart, and the therapist says, That'll be $5.99 a minute, please.
The Simp Chronicles
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You know, I recently discovered there's a whole saga online called The Simp Chronicles. It's like the Marvel Cinematic Universe for people who can't get a date. Instead of Iron Man, they have Aluminum Foil Guy – always wrapped up in unrequited love.
The Simp Diet
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I'm on a new diet called the Simp Diet. Instead of counting calories, I count the number of times I double-text without a response. Spoiler alert: I'm losing weight in self-esteem.
Simping Anonymous
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I went to a Simping Anonymous meeting the other day. It was just a bunch of guys sitting in a circle saying, Hi, I'm Dave, and I bought another bouquet of flowers for someone who thinks I'm the delivery guy. It's a safe space for bad decisions.
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