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The Coffee Addict
When the coffee is too hot, but life without it is even hotter.
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Coffee is the only thing I'm committed to. I have trust issues with tea; it tastes like hot water trying too hard.
The Cat Person
When your cat is your boss, and you're just there to open cans.
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My cat ignores me so much; I'm thinking of renaming it "Teenager.
The Unlucky in Love
When the only matches you get are on a dating app, but they're just for your friend's fireplace.
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My ex said I was unbearable. I said, "That's not fair, I haven't even started my bear impersonation yet.
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