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I told my friend I could make a shield out of spaghetti. He didn't believe me until I showed him how I could pasta-proof it!
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I tried to tell my shield a secret, but it kept deflecting the conversation!
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I accidentally stepped on my shield. Now it's a flat-out defense mechanism!
Dating with the Shield
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My friend set me up on a blind date and said, Don't worry, she's got a shield against bad conversation. Little did I know her shield was a smartphone with a never-ending supply of cat videos. Apparently, cats are the universal language of love.
Parenting 101: The Shield vs. The Teen Eye Roll
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Being a parent is like wielding a shield against your teenager's eye rolls. But honestly, I think my shield is more like a sieve—it lets eye rolls through, but it's excellent at catching heavy sighs and door slams.
The Shield of Office Productivity
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My boss suggested we implement a Shield of Productivity in the office. It's basically noise-canceling headphones for everyone. It's a great idea until you realize it's hard to communicate when everyone's walking around like they're in a silent disco.
The Shield of Invisibility
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I tried wearing a shield of invisibility to avoid awkward encounters. Spoiler alert: it didn't make me invisible; it just made me look like a confused knight at the grocery store.
The Shield of Parenting Secrets
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Parenting is like being handed a shield with no instructions. You just have to figure out how to use it on the fly. Spoiler: it's not effective against toddler tantrums, and it's surprisingly fragile when faced with a Lego minefield.
The Shield of Domestic Bliss
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You ever notice how couples always claim to have this unbreakable shield of love and commitment? I tried that at home. Turns out, our shield is more like a screen protector - it gets scratched up easily, and my wife is the one peeling it off!
The Shield of Eternal Optimism
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I met this guy who claims he has a shield of eternal optimism. I asked him if it protected against taxes and Mondays. He said, No, but it makes them slightly less soul-crushing. I think I need one of those shields—preferably in bulk.
The Shield of Introversion
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I have this friend who claims to have a shield of introversion. He says it's so powerful that it repels people. I told him it's not a shield; it's body odor. There's a difference.
Social Media Shielding
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I saw a friend posting about how they're taking a break from social media to focus on their mental health. I thought, Wow, that's a great idea! So, I tried it, but my shield only lasted about 15 minutes before I caved and checked Instagram. Turns out, my shield is just made of cardboard.
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