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You know, I recently discovered something that completely blew my mind. Have you guys ever tried to find a normal pen at the office, and all you can find are Sharpies? I mean, seriously, who decided that every workplace needs to be equipped with an arsenal of permanent markers? It's like they're preparing us for a spontaneous graffiti battle with the neighboring office or something. I tried taking notes with a Sharpie once, and let me tell you, it was like trying to write with a quill dipped in molasses. My notebook looked like a crime scene, and my hand looked like I was the victim. Sharpies are like the ninjas of the stationery world – silent, deadly, and impossible to erase.
And don't even get me started on accidentally grabbing a Sharpie thinking it's a regular pen. You start writing your grocery list, and suddenly your milk and eggs are tattooed onto the paper for eternity. I don't need my shopping list to have a shelf life longer than the actual groceries.
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Have you ever noticed that no matter how many regular pens you buy, they mysteriously disappear, and you're left with an army of Sharpies? I'm convinced there's a secret society of Sharpies out there, plotting against the regular pens. Maybe they hold late-night meetings in our desk drawers, chanting, "Ink permanence for the win!" I mean, think about it – Sharpies are always there when you don't need them, and regular pens are like elusive unicorns. I bet if you open a drawer in Area 51, it's just filled with Sharpies, and they're the real aliens running the show. It's the Sharpie Illuminati, and we're all unwittingly part of their ink-stained conspiracy.
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So, the other day, I found myself at a support group. Not for something serious like addiction or therapy – no, it was a support group for people who accidentally used Sharpies when they meant to use regular pens. We sat in a circle, all of us with ink-stained hands, sharing our stories. One guy had accidentally signed his credit card receipt with a Sharpie. Now, every time he buys something, the cashier looks at him like he's paying in counterfeit bills. Another lady had used a Sharpie to jot down her phone number for a cute barista. Let's just say, Sharpie digits are not as attractive as you might think.
I suggested we start a campaign to raise awareness about the dangers of Sharpies in the workplace. Maybe create a catchy jingle, like "Say No to Sharpies, Save a Shirt." But then I realized we'd probably end up writing that jingle with Sharpies, and the irony would be too much to handle.
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You know, some people are incredible artists with Sharpies. They create these intricate, detailed masterpieces, and I'm just sitting here struggling to draw a stick figure without it looking like a crime scene sketch. I mean, what kind of sorcery is that? I tried my hand at Sharpie art once, and let's just say my attempt at drawing a cat looked more like a mutant potato with whiskers. It's like my hand has a mind of its own when it comes to Sharpies. Maybe I should start telling people it's a new avant-garde art style – you know, abstract minimalism with a touch of ink poisoning.
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