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You know you've been in self-isolation too long when your houseplants start giving you attitude. I asked my fern for some company, and it just leafed.
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You know you're in self-isolation when you start giving your appliances names. I introduced my vacuum as Sir Sucks-A-Lot, and now I feel like I have a domestic knight patrolling the living room.
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Self-isolation has turned me into an expert at avoiding video calls. I've mastered the art of freezing at the most unflattering angles – I call it the "Pixelated Picasso" technique.
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Social distancing has made me appreciate the importance of personal space. I asked my couch if I could have some alone time, and it kindly unfolded into a makeshift fort. Best. Couch. Ever.
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Self-isolation has turned me into a culinary genius. I just made a gourmet meal out of the random items in my pantry. Call it "Quarantine Surprise" – the surprise being that it's edible.
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Self-isolation has made me realize that my cat is a terrible coworker. He refuses to participate in Zoom meetings and has no respect for the concept of a closed office door. Guess I'll have to give him a pawformance review.
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I've been practicing social distancing so well that even my Wi-Fi is maintaining a safe distance from other networks. It's like my router got the memo on flattening the curve.
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I've become so skilled at self-isolation that I accidentally startled my own reflection in the mirror. I guess even I forgot what I look like in anything other than pajamas.
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You know you're in self-isolation when you start negotiating with inanimate objects. I asked my refrigerator to stop making weird noises, and it responded with a chilling silence.
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