8 Jokes About Scots

Witty Jokes

Updated on: Aug 09 2025

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How do you greet a Scotsman on Mars? Kilts Up!
Why don't Scots play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when you're kilt!
How do you know if a Scotsman is left-handed? Check which side his kilt hangs!
How do you make a Scotsman laugh on Monday? Tell him a joke on Friday!
How did the Scotsman react when he saw a ghost? He said, 'Och, a translucent kilt!
Did you hear about the Scotsman who wore two jackets to the party? He wanted to be a wee bit cooler!
Did you hear about the Scottish vegetarian? He's a wee bit a-lentil!
How did the Scotsman find his sheep in the fog? Delightfully woolly!

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