7 Jokes About Scots

One Liners

Updated on: Aug 09 2025

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Why did the Scotsman bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
Why don't Scotsmen ever have leftover haggis? Because they always clean their plates!
Why did the Scotsman go to the art gallery? He heard they had a masterpiece of a kilt painting!
Why did the Scotsman bring a car door to the desert? So he could roll down the window when it got too hot!
Why was the Scotsman upset when he found a horseshoe? He thought someone lost their kilt buckle!
What's a Scotsman's favorite time of year? Loch-tober!
Why did the Scotsman start a band in his garden? He wanted to play kilt-y pleasures!

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