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Ever notice how scary it is to open the fridge at night? It's like a horror movie where the leftover spaghetti transforms into a midnight monster, ready to attack your diet plans.
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The scariest game of hide and seek is when you can't remember if you turned off the stove before leaving the house. It's a real-life quest to avoid a fiery catastrophe.
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You ever notice how the scariest moment of the day is when you're about to sneeze while driving? It's like, "Hold on, ghostly apparitions, I need a moment to close my eyes and lose control of the vehicle!
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You know you're an adult when you get excited about a new sponge for the kitchen. It's like, "Oh, this one has extra scrubbing power!" That's when you realize you've entered the thrilling world of household horror.
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I tried to be brave and watch a documentary about the deep sea. Now, every time I take a shower, I half-expect a giant anglerfish to emerge from the drain. Shower time has turned into a survival horror game.
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Nothing makes you question your life choices more than accidentally sending a text to the wrong person. The sheer terror as you hit send and realize your confession of love went to your boss instead of your significant other.
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I bought a self-help book the other day, and the first chapter was about facing your fears. Well, I opened it to find a spider inside, and suddenly I had to face the fact that I'm not ready to confront my arachnophobia.
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Trying to assemble IKEA furniture is scarier than any horror movie. It's like a suspense thriller where you're not sure if you'll end up with a bookshelf or accidentally summoning a Swedish demon.
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You know you're an adult when you get excited about a quiet weekend at home. It's like, "No parties, no drama, just me, my couch, and the terrifying realization that I prefer it this way.
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