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Why did the tomato blush during grace? Because it saw the salad dressing!
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Why did the astronaut say grace before dinner? To have a 'space-y' meal!
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Why did the tofu say grace before every meal? Because it wanted to be extra 'firm' in its beliefs!
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Why did the clock say grace? It wanted to make sure its 'hands' were always in sync!
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Why did the grape say grace before being turned into wine? It wanted to become a 'fine' spirit!
Grace, the Culinary Translator
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I've realized saying grace is like using Google Translate for your food. You're not sure what you're saying, but you hope it comes out as, Bless this meal, and not, Summon the culinary spirits for a flavor explosion.
Gratitude, the Calorie Burner
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I've heard saying grace before a meal burns calories. Yeah, that's right. It's the only workout where you're sitting, but your words are doing a marathon. No wonder my grandma is so fit!
Gratitude Olympics
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Saying grace is the Gratitude Olympics. You've got to thank the farmer, the chef, the delivery guy, and anyone else involved in the making of your meal. By the time you're done, the food's cold, and you're in the running for the Guinness World Record of the longest grace ever.
Grateful or Forgetful?
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Saying grace is great, but sometimes it feels like we're just listing ingredients. Thank you for the potatoes, the peas, the carrots... did we forget the chicken? Oh, right, thank you for the chicken too. Amen!
Grace, the Culinary Password
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Saying grace is like entering a culinary password before enjoying your meal. Open sesame, oh Lord, to this feast. May my metabolism be as fast as my internet connection. Amen!
Say Grace, AKA God's Voicemail
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You ever notice how saying grace before a meal is like leaving a voicemail for God? Hey, Big Guy, it's me down here. Just checking in, wanted to let you know I'm about to devour this pizza. Hope you're enjoying your eternity and all, but if you could bless this pepperoni, that would be divine!
Graceful Negotiations
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Saying grace is like negotiating with your food. Dear Lord, if I eat this chocolate cake, please subtract the calories and add a bit more willpower to my next diet. We're working on a divine calorie exchange program here.
Grateful GPS
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Saying grace is like setting the GPS for your food. In 500 feet, turn left at the mashed potatoes, and your destination, the flavor town, will be on the right. Amen and bon appétit!
Grace or GPS?
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Saying grace sometimes sounds like giving directions to your food. Dear Lord, guide this fork to my mouth, and may the path of this spaghetti be straighter than my attempts at assembling IKEA furniture.
Gratitude, Interrupted
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Saying grace feels like a conversation interruption. You're in the middle of devouring a juicy burger, and suddenly, someone's like, Hold up, everyone! Let's pause and express gratitude for these fries. Can we just appreciate food without turning it into a TED Talk?
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