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Joke Types
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Why did the saw bring a pencil to the construction site? To draw a line in the sawdust!
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Why did the saw apply for a job at the bakery? It wanted to slice the bread and butter.
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Why did the saw break up with the measuring tape? It couldn't handle the commitment.
Sawing Through Life
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Life is like a saw. Sometimes it cuts smoothly through your plans, and other times, it hits a stubborn knot that makes you question your life choices. You're there, in the middle of sawing through a metaphorical log, and suddenly you're like, Why did I major in philosophy? I should've gone for 'How to Adult 101.'
Saw vs. IKEA Furniture
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Assembling IKEA furniture is the real-life version of using a saw without any instructions. You look at all those pieces and think, Is this a bookshelf or a time machine? And why are there so many extra screws? It's like they want you to experience a relationship crisis while trying to build a coffee table. I swear, relationship counselors should just work at IKEA.
DIY Therapy
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Therapists should replace their couches with saws. You walk in, they hand you safety goggles, and you spend the session sawing through your emotional baggage. Can you imagine the breakthroughs? I realized my fear of commitment is just a metaphorical two-by-four that needs sawing. Also, can I get a Band-Aid?
Sawing Through Social Media
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Social media is like a saw. It's sharp, potentially dangerous, and people get way too excited to show off how much they can cut through the competition. Instagram influencers are the saws of the digital age. Look at my perfectly cut life! #SawGoals
Saw-ful Pickup Lines
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I tried using a saw once as a pickup line. I walked up to someone at a bar and said, Are you a saw? Because every time I see you, my heart makes a clean cut, and I can't put it back together. Turns out, saws are not great conversation starters, and the bartender had to call someone to fix the hole I accidentally made in the floor.
The Sawing Soundtrack
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Ever notice how the sound of a saw is eerily similar to the sound of my grandma snoring? It's this rhythmic, buzzing noise that starts off annoying, but after a while, you can't help but find it oddly comforting. Next time I can't sleep, I'm bringing a saw to bed. White noise has nothing on the soothing lullaby of woodworking.
Sawing Relationships in Half
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Relationships are like saws. You start off thinking, This is gonna be so much fun! But then you hit a knot, and you're like, Wait, what just happened? Next thing you know, you're in couples therapy, and the therapist is suggesting you use a more relationship-friendly tool, like communication. Who would've thought?
The Saw Dilemma
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You ever notice how using a saw is like the relationship equivalent of trying to communicate with your partner during a heated argument? You start off thinking it'll be a clean cut, but halfway through, you realize you're in way over your head, and things are getting messier by the second. It's like, Honey, can we just switch to a more civilized tool, like a butter knife?
The Horror Movie of DIY
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Using a saw without proper training is like starring in your own horror movie. You're in the garage, the lights flicker, and suddenly you hear that bone-chilling sound. Is it a ghost or a rusty saw blade? You're not sure, but either way, you're running for your life.
Sawing Self-Esteem
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Using a saw is the quickest way to humble yourself. You pick it up, ready to conquer that DIY project, and five minutes later, you're on the floor, surrounded by wood chips, questioning every life choice that led you to believe you were handy. Note to self: Leave sawing to the professionals or, at the very least, someone who has successfully assembled IKEA furniture.
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