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I've been trying to get in shape lately, and someone suggested I follow the advice of a rolling stone. "Just keep moving," they said. So, I tried it. I rolled out of bed, rolled to the fridge, and then rolled back to bed. Turns out, that's not the kind of movement they were talking about. Now I know why rocks are in such good shape—no one ever tells them to hit the gym!
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I was flipping through Rolling Stone magazine the other day, you know, trying to stay hip and relevant. They always have those lists of the greatest hits of all time. But let me tell you, they've got some weird choices. I mean, who decided that the greatest hit of all time is a rock? I was expecting music, not geology lessons. "Stairway to Heaven"? More like "Elevator to Confusion" if you ask me.
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I heard this dating advice that said you should be like a rolling stone, never gathering any emotional moss. Well, let me tell you, dating as a rolling stone is tough. Every time I meet someone interesting, I just can't commit. I'm like, "Sorry, I'm rolling solo tonight." It's not that I have commitment issues; it's just that I don't want to gather any emotional moss. I'm trying to stay emotionally sleek and smooth, like a rock in a river.
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You know, I was thinking about that old saying, "A rolling stone gathers no moss." But I've got to say, in today's world, it seems more like "A rolling stone gathers no retirement savings!" I mean, come on, even Mick Jagger has to be checking his 401(k) by now. Can you imagine Mick at a financial advisor's office? "I can't get no satisfaction, but I could use a better return on investment!
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