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Joke Types
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I told my friend I could balance a rock on my head. He said, 'That's just un-boulder-able!
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I asked a rock for relationship advice. It told me, 'Just stay grounded and don't take things for granite.
Rolling Stone Concert Wisdom
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Went to a Rolling Stones concert expecting life-changing advice. The only thing I learned is that Mick Jagger can move better at 78 than I can at 28. I'm over here trying to dance, and my knees are like, Slow down, grandpa!
Rolling Stone's Weather Forecast
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I heard Rolling Stone is launching a weather section. Can you imagine Mick Jagger as a weatherman? Today's forecast: a chance of satisfaction, with a high probability of emotional turbulence. Don't forget your emotional umbrellas, folks!
Rolling Stone Subscriptions
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I recently subscribed to Rolling Stone, thinking it would make me cooler. Now, not only am I broke from the subscription fee, but I also use the magazine as a coaster for my instant ramen. That's one expensive noodle supporter!
Rolling Stone's Guide to Life
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You ever notice how life is like a Rolling Stone magazine? You never know where it's gonna take you, but you're guaranteed to pick up a few scratches along the way. I mean, their advice on relationships is probably written by a rock, and not the romantic kind!
Rolling Stone's Financial Wisdom
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I read in Rolling Stone that money can't buy happiness. Well, Rolling Stone, I beg to differ. Have you ever seen someone frown on a yacht? Me neither. Money might not buy happiness, but it sure can rent a yacht, and that's pretty darn close.
Rolling Stone's Relationship Advice
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Rolling Stone has relationship advice columns now. Because nothing says healthy relationship like taking advice from a magazine that's been in and out of relationships with genres for decades. I can already see it: How to make your relationship as timeless as classic rock – Step 1: Don't break up, just go on a farewell tour every decade.
Rolling Stone and My Laundry
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I tried using a Rolling Stone magazine as a laundry weight to keep my clothes from flying around in the dryer. Turns out, Mick Jagger's face doesn't have the same gravitational pull as I thought. My laundry's still doing the electric boogie.
Rolling Stone's Diet Tips
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I saw this article in Rolling Stone about the perfect diet. It said, Eat like a rockstar! So now, my diet consists of questionable decisions, regret, and a surprising amount of glitter. Turns out, glitter isn't a food group. Who knew?
Rolling Stone's Workout Routine
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Tried the Rolling Stone workout routine – it said, Rock and Roll your way to fitness! Now I'm not only out of breath, but I also have a guitar-shaped bruise on my forehead. Apparently, rocking out is harder than it looks.
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