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You ever notice how wearing a ring pop is like entering a temporary engagement? Like, "Sorry, I can't commit to a real ring right now, but I'm fully invested in this candy one. Will you accept this watermelon-flavored proposal?
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The struggle is real when you're trying to discreetly enjoy a ring pop in public. You're over there, looking like you're pondering life's deepest mysteries, when in reality, you're just trying not to drop melted candy all over yourself.
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The inventor of the ring pop must have been a genius marketer. They took a simple candy, put it on a plastic ring, and suddenly every kid is walking around like they're part of a fruity secret society.
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You know you're an adult when you start using ring pops as emergency sugar boosts at work. Forget coffee breaks; it's all about the secret stash of watermelon ring pops in your desk drawer.
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Ring pops are like the unofficial currency of the playground. Forget about those fancy gold coins; a grape-flavored ring pop is the real treasure every kid desires. It's like the Willy Wonka golden ticket of elementary school.
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I tried to propose to my girlfriend with a ring pop once. She looked at me and said, "Nice try, but I don't think 'till death do us part' should involve high fructose corn syrup.
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I recently saw a guy proposing with a ring pop at a baseball game. I guess he wanted to hit a home run both on the field and in the romance department. I just hope she said yes before the seventh-inning stretch.
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Ring pops are the only jewelry that comes with an expiration date. It's like, "Wear it proudly, but be aware that it will self-destruct in approximately 15 minutes or when exposed to direct sunlight.
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Ring pops are the only jewelry that's socially acceptable to lick in public. If you caught someone passionately licking their wedding ring, you might be concerned, but a person savoring a blue raspberry ring pop? Totally normal.
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